Building effective interaction with people. How to successfully build relationships with people? Secrets and rules General communications and interactions between people

Dale Carnegie

Let’s think, friends, what role does the ability to build relationships with other people play in our life? I think you will agree that it is very important. After all, this is also a personal life, for which an ideal relationship with the opposite sex is required, otherwise there will be no happiness in the family, and money, for which we need to build business relationships with different people, and friends on whom we can rely, and connections with useful people who expand our capabilities, and much, much more. Moreover, relationships between people are not always smooth and effective, despite the obvious usefulness of such relationships. And this is due to the fact that people are usually not taught to competently build relationships with each other. In most cases, we learn this skill ourselves, in the process of interacting with each other, guided mainly by everyday experience, and not by some special knowledge that must be drawn from special sources, for example, in books on psychology. As a result, many people have problems with each other, which can make their life much more difficult. So that this does not happen, so that you, dear readers, competently build your relations with any people, I suggest you read this article.

Let's start by asking you one of the most important questions for us - what do we want from other people? After all, we all want something from each other, and therefore we build various forms of relations with each other, from the simplest to the very complex. Therefore, if you clearly and clearly understand what exactly you need from this or that person, you will be able to determine the form of relationship with him that will suit you and him. But having decided what you want from another person, from other people, think now about what you yourself can offer him or them? After all, if you want to build normal, useful relationships with people, you must think not only about what you want, but also about what other people want. Without this, you will not be able to interest them in yourself. Because you, and me, and all of us are not interested in building relationships with those who do not care about us, who do not want to give us anything, but only wants to take something from us. Is that so? And how often do you think about what you might be of interest to this or that person with whom you want to build a certain relationship? Or let's put it this way - how carefully do you work on this issue? Based on my experience of working with people on this issue, I must say that they do not pay enough attention to it, therefore, they experience various problems in relations with each other. In other words, many people have a lame diplomacy - they do not think enough about the interests of others and therefore cannot competently link their interests with those of others. And what kind of relations can we talk about if they do not meet the interests of one of the parties? About violent, about those in which one person or group of people tolerates others? Such relationships, as history shows, are precarious. Therefore, it is better to seek a common language with people, and not to impose your will on them by force.

So the first conclusion that we can draw, speaking about relationships between people, will be this: good, reliable, strong relationships can be built only on mutually beneficial terms. However, you and I are adults and therefore we understand [must understand] that the mutually beneficial conditions are different and it is not always about absolutely equal relations between people. Someone in them may be smoother, because of their capabilities and their status. Therefore, it is already important here to understand what a person has the right to count on, being who he is. Otherwise, some people want to be treated in such a way that, let's say, they do not deserve. But due to the fact that their opinion of themselves is unreasonably overstated, they insist on such relationships with people in which they will be of little interest to anyone. For example, an ordinary employee of a company may believe that his boss is receiving unfairly higher wages compared to him, although he himself is not able to do all the work that the boss does because he lacks the competence to do so. But the desire to be equal to someone who surpasses you in some way prevents people from objectively assessing themselves and their capabilities. Therefore, different people have different understandings of which conditions are mutually beneficial and which relationships are fair. Because of this difference of opinion, people can have certain problems in relationships with each other. Let's talk about them now.

Relationship problems

Relationship problems, no matter which ones, are faced by most people. I even dare to say that everyone faces these problems from time to time. And as we found out above, a very common cause of these problems is the biased idea of \u200b\u200bpeople about what their relationship with others should be like. Many people want to be treated in a way that they don't deserve. Here, of course, there is a place for selfishness, short-sightedness, and inability to adequately assess oneself and others, and even a banal childish capriciousness can declare itself when people want the impossible. With all this, I often have to work, helping people solve their problems in relations with others.

But each of you can deal with all these points by yourself, thinking about what his relationships with different people are based on. In general, everything is very simple - if you know the objective value of yourself, you can also understand what you should count on when building a relationship with this or that person. And then you will not ask or demand what to another person, other people, is not profitable and not interesting to give to you. You will receive exactly the treatment you deserve at the moment. You will have to give something, people will give you something in return. But it is not at all necessary that such an exchange will be absolutely equal. I repeat, you will get what you deserve. And if you are smart enough, you will accept it and not ask for more. Then your relationships with people will objectively be mutually beneficial. Not equal, but mutually beneficial. And then everything will depend on you. The more benefit you can bring to other people, the higher their need for you will be, which means that they themselves will be ready to give you more in order to maintain a relationship with you.

Another reason for problems in relationships is straightforwardness, this is when people say what they think and act intuitively, on emotions, one might even say reflexively - without thinking properly. Well, you yourself know perfectly well what this leads to. This leads to conflicts, and sometimes quite stupid ones. And people often turn to psychologists not before, but after they make mistakes because of their straightforward attitude to a particular situation, problem, people. So let's think with you, what is the problem with a straightforward approach? Basically, it does not take into account the reaction of other people to certain of your words and actions. If, for example, you tell a person that he is wrong in something, that he is mistaken, then your words will most likely cause a negative reaction. Do you agree? Nobody likes to feel stupid, wrong, nobody likes to be wrong. And even if you are objectively right, pointing out to a person his mistakes, he may simply not accept your criticism. Just think, what kind of a wise person does one need to be in order to react, if not positively, then at least neutrally to criticism, remarks, reproaches addressed to you? Do you think that most people are just like that - who wisely perceive negative information about themselves, draw conclusions from it and use it for personal growth? Naturally not. People are much simpler for the most part. They do not react to criticism with their heads, but with emotions. Then the question arises, why behave with them as it is unprofitable to do? Why be straightforward? The answer is simple: many people do not know how to control themselves and are used to doing something first, and only then thinking. As a result, their straightforwardness often prevents them from building normal relationships with people. I would like to tell a person everything as it is, but not, because a person will not understand. So you need to be flexible. And how many people know how to do this? In fact of the matter. It is always easier to swear, scandal, criticize, condemn, it does not require a great mind. But there is little or no benefit from these things, rather only harm.

Let's think about how to learn how to build relationships with people using a flexible approach to them? I believe that for this you need to be able to manipulate people. That is, to manage them secretly. It is manipulation that allows people to act flexibly, creatively, outside the box, and effectively, rather than being straightforward. With its help, you can play highly effective multi-move combinations that will allow you to find a common language with any person. However, most people have a predominantly negative attitude towards any manipulation. This is due to the fact that most of them do not know how to competently manipulate others, since they were not taught this, but at the same time they themselves are afraid of becoming a victim of someone's manipulation. Hence the criticism of this psychological tool. But since this still happens - people have manipulated and manipulated each other in different ways, it would still be better to learn this skill, and not condemn it. Then it will not be necessary to shove like a tank in order to achieve something from people, because a person will have a lot of other opportunities to build the relationships he needs with them. Let me show you one way to build relationships with people through manipulation.

Adjustment

Adjustment is one of the ways to covertly influence people in order to gain confidence in them. And by entering into trust with a person, you will lay a solid foundation for your relationship with him. Usually, in order to please people, it is useful to adapt to them, since everyone is pleased to communicate with those who look, think, behave, just like them. But there are very strong personalities in our society who, with their energy alone, force others to imitate them and thus adjust the crowd to themselves. There are not many such people, but they exist. These are leaders, both by nature and thanks to their special upbringing. But they, too, sometimes adjust to others if they have enough flexibility. Because this is a necessary quality for a person who wants to be very popular with the people around him. You cannot always bend only your own line, this is not effective behavior.

You can adapt to people intuitively, or you can quite consciously, only for this you need to undergo special training. After all, adjustment is a very delicate art. If you just monkey, then nothing will work, you need to read people well in order to understand how to become like them and to please them. Therefore, before you adapt to a person - copying his appearance, behavior, mood, and most importantly - agreeing with his opinion, beliefs, thoughts, you need to carefully observe him. After all, without knowing the true system of human values, it is impossible to imitate him imperceptibly, and this is very important for naturalness. Therefore, observe, observe and once again observe the person, study him, try to notice any little things in his behavior, memorize his every word in order to understand his train of thought and learn about all his beliefs. Some people are inconsistent, they can abandon their decisions without any logical reasoning, but only under the influence of emotions. Therefore, it is important to notice this and behave in a similar way, skillfully jumping with the person from one thought to another. It can be frustrating, sometimes even annoying, but the main thing is the result. We are all not perfect, we all have our flaws, you need to be more tolerant of this. If you do not learn to accept people for who they are, or rather, if you do not learn to accept their shortcomings, you will not be able to build relationships that are useful for you. Therefore, in order to skillfully adapt to others, you need to be more tolerant of them. So, when you thoroughly study the person you want to adapt to, rehearse your behavior at home in order to get used to a new role for yourself. And only then begin to demonstrate this behavior in the company of this person. In other words, prepare for the actual tuning beforehand.

Competent adjustment helps to find a common language with almost all people. And this is given the fact that all people are different. And having found a common language with them, you can build the relationship you need with them. After all, the more understanding between people, the easier it is for them to agree and get along with each other. In the future, of course, you will have to gradually become yourself if you plan to build a long-term and very close relationship with the person. But this is a completely different job. The main thing is to lay a solid foundation for relations, and only then they can slowly be built in the right way. Let's now talk about another very important point on which the quality of human relations depends.

Expectations

We all have some expectations about life and other people. For some they are rather vague, while for others they are quite specific. And what kind of plans we sometimes make for people, what great dreams we associate with them, which, unfortunately, are not always fulfilled. And when our expectations are not met, we often blame other people for it, as if they are to blame for the fact that we have invented a lot of things for ourselves. And think, friends, do we need all these expectations at all, or maybe it is better to let life surprise us with something from time to time? After all, sometimes people find themselves dissatisfied with a completely normal life for themselves and rather happy relationships with interesting people, because they simply do not coincide with their plans for life. But this is an optional condition for happiness, for a normal life, for the opportunity to get pleasure from it. Why do we need to realize our plans by all means? Why not tweak them instead so that they fit perfectly into the reality we live in?

You know, very often I ask people a question, while solving some of their problems with relationships with different people: why do they think that something should be in their life exactly like this, and not otherwise? Why is the other scenario of their life unacceptable for them? Why doesn't another form of relationship with this or that person or people seem normal to them? And with the help of such questions, we often come to the conclusion that the expectations that the person - my client had and still have, those of his life plans that he built over a long time, the dreams that he had and has, are far from as he needed, as it seemed to him. It is quite possible to refuse them and nothing terrible will happen. This is a very simple path to happiness, but it is so difficult to follow. Just think how often we make claims to different people for the fact that they did not help us fulfill our dreams, that they did not live up to our expectations, that they did not make us happy, as if the whole point is really in them and not in us. Notice that I say “we” because there is no need to point a finger at anyone - we all sin with this in one way or another. And this is a real disaster for many people. They do not accept what they have, what life gives them, they want something else, which is not clear where it came from in their head.

And how often do people ruin relationships with each other because of some of their outdated plans for life, in which there is no special meaning. It often seems to them that others are always better, that the other life is more interesting, brighter, happier, that it is only they who are so unhappy, because they do not have something or they lack something. All these harmful thoughts destroy a person from the inside and often harm his relationships with very valuable and even loving people. So the expectation of something, from relationships, from other people, from life, is often associated with a person's dissatisfaction with his life. No need to run away with your thoughts into the future and paint it in your own way. This activity can destroy your present. You can plan something in your life, there is nothing wrong with that, it is even useful. But don't expect these plans to come true. Life is a tricky thing, it always builds such combinations for each person that he is forced to rack his brains to understand why his affairs are developing this way and not otherwise. And if he does not do this, then he is simply disappointed in his life, believing that it did not work out for him.

Friends, relationships between people are work. And it needs to be done. Such things cannot be left to chance. If you want normal relationships with people at all levels, you need to learn how to build them and then practice the knowledge gained. How important this is to you, you can understand by turning your attention to the quality of your existing relationships with different people. If they do not suit you, you need to deal with this issue, because it will not be solved by itself. Well, if they do, I can only rejoice for you and wish you to continue building successful and useful relationships with people.

As a result of studying the chapter, the student must:

• know the essence and causality of the manifestation of interaction and relationships of people;
• be able to to understand correctly the hierarchy and the ratio of levels, types and types of interaction and relationships between individuals (groups) in society;
• own initial skills of recognition and interpretation of the originality of the functioning of interaction and relationships of people.

Society does not consist of separate individuals, but expresses the sum of those connections and relationships in which these individuals are to each other. The basis of these connections and relationships is formed by the actions of people and their influence on each other (interaction), called interaction ("mental interaction", as the outstanding Russian sociologist Pitirim Sorokin called it).

The originality of human interaction

General characteristics of interaction

Interaction Is a process of direct or indirect influence of objects (subjects) on each other, generating mutual conditioning and connection.

It is causality that is the main feature of interaction, when each of the interacting parties acts as the cause of the other and as a consequence of the simultaneous reverse influence of the opposite side, which determines the development of objects and their structures.

If a contradiction is found during interaction, then it acts as a source of self-movement and self-development of phenomena and processes.

In interaction, a person's attitude to another person is realized as to a subject who has his own world. The interaction of a person with a person in society is the interaction of their inner worlds, the exchange of thoughts, ideas, images, influence on goals and needs, influence on the assessments of another individual, his emotional state.

In addition, interaction in social psychology usually means not only the influence of people on each other, but also the direct organization of their joint actions, which allows the group to realize the activity common to its members. The interaction itself in this case acts as a systematic, constant implementation of actions aimed at causing an appropriate response from other people.

Joint life and activity, in contrast to the individual, has at the same time more severe restrictions on any manifestations of activity - the passivity of individuals. This forces people to build and coordinate the images "I - He", "We - They", to coordinate efforts between them. In the course of real interaction, a person's adequate ideas about himself, other people, and their groups are also formed. The interaction of people is a leading factor in the regulation of their self-assessments and behavior in society.

In a very simplified form, interaction can be represented as a process that consists of:

• - physical contact;
• - movement in space;
• - perception and attitudes of its participants;
• - spiritual verbal contact;
• - non-verbal information contact;
• - joint group activities.

The structure of interaction usually includes:

• - subjects of interaction;
• - the interconnection of its subjects;
• - mutual influence on each other;
• - mutual changes of subjects of interaction.

Usually distinguish between intrapersonal, interpersonal, personal-group, personal-mass, intergroup, mass-group interactions. But two types of interaction are of fundamental importance in their analysis: interpersonal and intergroup.

Interpersonal interaction - these are accidental or deliberate, private or public, long-term or short-term, verbal or non-verbal contacts and communications of two or more people, causing mutual changes in their behavior, activities, relationships and experiences.

The main signs of such interaction are:

• - the presence of a goal (object) external to the interacting individuals, the achievement of which presupposes mutual efforts;
• - Explication (accessibility) for outside observation and registration by other people;
• - situational - a rather rigid regulation by specific conditions of activity, norms, rules and intensity of relations, due to which interaction becomes a rather changeable phenomenon;
• - reflexive polysemy - the dependence of its perception on the conditions of implementation and assessments of its participants.

Intergroup interaction is a process of direct or indirect influence of multiple subjects (objects) on each other, giving rise to their mutual conditionality and the peculiar nature of relations. Usually it takes place between entire groups (as well as their parts) and acts as an integrating (or destabilizing) factor in the development of society.

By interacting representatives of various groups of society, on the one hand, they change their own traits and qualities, making them somewhat different, unlike the previous ones, and on the other hand, they turn some of the unique features of each of them into something common, into a common property. Revealing the belonging of these features only to representatives of one community becomes problematic over time.

At the same time, we can talk about three options for interaction:

• – impact, those. predominantly one-sided, unidirectional influence of one community (personality) on another (others), when one group (personality) is active, dominant, the other is inert, passive with respect to this impact (specific manifestations can be coercion, manipulation, etc. );
• – assistance, when two or more groups (individuals) on an equal basis provide assistance, support to each other, achieve unity in deeds and intentions, and cooperation is the highest form of assistance;
• – opposition, create obstacles to actions, generate contradictions in positions, block the efforts of another community (personality) or interfere with it, as well as organize active opposition, up to physical actions and certain qualities, to be energetic and combative).

The likelihood of opposition increases in cases where a group (personality) or its representatives meet with something new, unusual, unconventional in their life, in particular, with an unusual mindset, other rights and orders, alternative views. Under these circumstances, the reaction of opposition is quite objective and normal.

Each of the listed variants of interaction is not "one-dimensional", but has a wide range of manifestations. For example, the impact can vary from harshly tyrannical to soft, taking into account the peculiarities of the objects of influence, opposition can also be represented by a range - from irreconcilable contradictions to minor disagreements. It should be borne in mind that there may not be an unambiguous interpretation of the interaction options, since each of them can absorb others, and some of them can gradually transform even into their opposite, move into another group, etc.

Table 4.1

Western interaction theories

Theory name	Surnames of leading representatives	The main idea of \u200b\u200bthe theory
Exchange theory	J. Homan	People interact with each other based on their experiences, weighing possible rewards and costs
Symbolic interactionism	J. Mead G. Bloomer	The behavior of people in relation to each other and to objects of the surrounding world is determined by the values \u200b\u200bthat they attach to them
Managing experiences	E. Hoffman	Situations of social interaction are like dramatic performances in which actors seek to create and maintain favorable experiences.
Psychoanalytic theory		Human interactions are strongly influenced by early childhood concepts and conflicts experienced during this period.

The process of human interaction can be divided into three levels: initial, intermediate and final.

On his the lowest level interaction is simplest primary contacts of people, when between them there is only a certain primary and very simplified mutual or one-sided "physical" influence on each other for the purpose of exchange of information and communication, which, due to specific reasons, may not achieve their goal, and therefore not receive all-round development.

The main thing in the success of initial contacts is the acceptance or non-acceptance of the partners in the interaction of each other. At the same time, they do not constitute a simple sum of individuals, but are some completely new and specific formation of connections and relationships, which is regulated by real or imaginary (imagined) difference - similarity, similarity - the contrast of people involved in joint activity (practical or mental). Differences between individuals are one of the main conditions for the further development of interaction (its other forms - communication, relationships, mutual understanding), as well as themselves as individuals.

Any contact usually begins with a specific, sensory perception of the external appearance, features of the activity and behavior of other people. At this moment, as a rule, the emotional-behavioral reactions of individuals to each other dominate. Relationships of acceptance - rejection are manifested in facial expressions, gestures, posture, gaze, intonation, the desire to end or continue communication. They indicate whether people like each other. If not, then there are reciprocal or one-sided reactions of rejection (glancing glance, withdrawing the hand when shaking, turning the head, body, fencing off gestures, "sour mine", fussiness, running away, etc.) or termination of established contact. And, on the contrary, people turn to those who smile, look directly and openly, turn in full face, respond with a cheerful and cheerful intonation, to those who are trustworthy and with whom further cooperation can be developed on the basis of joint efforts.

Of course, the acceptance or rejection of the interaction partners of each other has deeper roots. You can distinguish between scientifically sound and proven stages uniformity – heterogeneity (degrees of similarity - differences) of the participants in the interaction. initial stage there is a ratio of individual (natural) and personal parameters (temperament, intelligence, character, motivation, interests, value orientations) of people. Of particular importance in interpersonal interaction are age and sex differences between partners.

Final stage homogeneity - heterogeneity (degree of similarity - contrast of participants in interpersonal interaction) is the ratio in the group (similarity - difference) of opinions, attitudes (including likes and dislikes) to oneself, partners or other people, to the objective world (including to joint activities ). The final stage is divided into stages: primary (or initial) and secondary (or effective). The primary stage is the initial ratio of opinions given before interpersonal interaction (about the world of objects and their own kind). The secondary stage is expressed in the ratio (similarity - difference) of opinions and relationships as a result of interpersonal interaction, the exchange of thoughts and feelings between participants in joint activities.

An important role in the interaction at its initial stage is played by the effect congruences. It is a confirmation of mutual role expectations, a single resonant rhythm, consonance of the experiences of the participants in the contact.

Congruence presupposes a minimum of mismatches in the key points of the lines of behavior of the participants in the contact, the result of which is the release of tension, the emergence of trust and sympathy at the subconscious level.

Congruence is reinforced by the partner's feeling of participation, interest, mutual search activity based on his needs and life experience. Congruence may appear from the first minutes of contact between previously unknown partners, or it may not arise at all. The presence of a congruence indicates an increased likelihood that the interaction will continue. In this sense, one should strive to achieve congruence from the first minutes of contact.

The main prerequisites for achieving congruence are usually:

• and) the experience of belonging, which occurs in the following cases:
  • when the goals of the subjects of interaction are interconnected;
  • when there is a basis for interpersonal rapprochement;
  • when subjects belong to the same social group;
• b) empathy, which is easier to implement:
  • when establishing emotional contact;
  • when the behavioral and emotional reactions of partners are similar;
  • in the presence of the same feelings for some object;
  • when attention is drawn to the feelings of partners (for example, they are simply described);
• in) identification, which is amplified:
  • with liveliness, a variety of behavioral manifestations of the interacting parties;
  • when a person sees in another traits of his character;
  • when partners seem to change places and discuss from each other's positions;
  • when referring to previous cases;
  • with a commonality of thoughts, interests, social roles and positions (Bodalev A.A., 2004).

As a result of congruence and effective primary contacts, feedback between people, which is a process of mutually directed response actions, which serves to maintain subsequent interaction and during which the intentional or unintentional message to another person is also carried out about how his behavior and actions (or their consequences) are perceived or experienced.

There are three main functions of feedback. She usually acts: 1) a regulator of human behavior and actions; 2) a regulator of interpersonal relations; 3) a source of self-knowledge.

Feedback is of different types, and each option corresponds to one or another specificity of the interaction of people and the establishment of stable relations between them.

Feedback can be: a) verbal (transmitted in the form of a speech message); b) non-verbal, carried out through facial expressions, posture, voice intonation, etc .; c) expressed in the form of a manifestation-oriented action, showing to another person understanding, approval and expressed in joint activity.

Feedback can be immediate and delayed in time, it can be brightly emotionally colored and transmitted to another person as some kind of experience, or it can be with minimal experience of emotions and response behavioral reactions.

Different types of joint activities are appropriate for their own types of feedback. The inability to use feedback significantly complicates the interaction of people, reducing its effectiveness. Thanks to feedback in the course of interaction, people become like each other, bring their state, emotions, actions and actions in accordance with the unfolding process of relationships.

The existing psychological community of partners strengthens their contacts, leads to the development of relationships between them, contributes to the transformation of their personal relationships and actions into joint ones. Attitudes, needs, interests, relationships in general, acting as motives, determine the promising areas of interaction between partners, while his tactics are also regulated by mutual understanding of the personal characteristics of people, their images-ideas about each other, about themselves, the tasks of joint activity.

At the same time, the regulation of the interaction and relationships of people is carried out not by one, but by a whole group of images. In addition to the images-representations of partners about each other, the system of psychological regulators of joint activity includes images-representations of oneself (I-concept), representations of partners about the impression they made on each other, an ideal image of the social role played by partners, views on possible results joint activities.

These images-representations together are not always clearly understood by people in the process of interaction. They often appear as unconscious impressions and do not find an outlet in the conceptual sphere of thinking of the subjects of joint activity. At the same time, the psychological content, contained in attitudes, motives, needs, interests, relationships, is manifested through volitional actions in various forms of behavior aimed at a partner.

On middle level the process of human interaction, which is called productive joint activities, the gradually developing active cooperation finds more and more expression in the effective solution of the problem of combining mutual efforts of partners.

Usually distinguish three models organization of joint activities: 1) each participant does his part of the common work independently of the other; 2) the general task is performed sequentially by each participant; 3) there is a simultaneous interaction of each participant with all the others. Their real existence depends on the conditions of activity, its goals and content.

At the same time, common aspirations of people can lead to collisions in the process of coordinating positions. As a result, people enter into a "agree-disagree" relationship with each other. In case of agreement, partners are involved in joint activities. In this case, there is a distribution of roles and functions between the participants in the interaction. These relations cause a special orientation of volitional efforts among the subjects of interaction. It is associated either with a concession or with the conquest of certain positions. Therefore, the partners are required to display mutual tolerance, composure, perseverance, psychological mobility and other volitional qualities of a person, based on intelligence and a high level of consciousness and self-awareness of the individual.

At the same time, at this time, the interaction of people is actively accompanied or mediated by the manifestation of complex socio-psychological phenomena, called compatibility – incompatibilities (or response - non-response). As interpersonal relationships and communication are specific forms of interaction, so compatibility and synergy should be considered its special constituent elements. Interpersonal relations in a group and compatibility (physiological and psychological) of its members give rise to another important socio-psychological phenomenon, which is commonly called the "psychological climate".

There are several types of compatibility. Psychophysiological compatibility is based on the interaction of the characteristics of temperament, the needs of individuals. Psychological compatibility involves the interaction of characters, intellects, motives of behavior. Socio-psychological compatibility provides for the coordination of social roles, interests, value orientations of the participants. Finally, socio-ideological compatibility is based on the commonality of ideological values, on the similarity of social attitudes (in intensity and direction) - relative to possible facts of reality associated with the realization of ethnic, class and confessional interests. There are no clear boundaries between these types of compatibility, while the extreme levels of compatibility, for example, physiological and socio-psychological, socio-ideological, have obvious differences.

In joint activities, control on the part of the participants themselves is noticeably intensified (self-control, self-examination, mutual control, mutual verification), which affects the performing part of the activity, including the speed and accuracy of individual and joint actions.

At the same time, it should be remembered that the motivation of its participants is primarily the engine of interaction and joint activity. There are several types of social interaction motives (the motives for which a person interacts with other people):

• 1) maximization of the total gain (the motive of cooperation);
• 2) maximizing your own gain (individualism);
• 3) maximization of the relative gain (competition);
• 4) maximizing the gain of another (altruism);
• 5) minimization of the gain of another (aggression);
• 6) minimization of differences in winnings (equality) (Bityanova M. R „2010).

Within the framework of this scheme, all possible motives that determine the social interaction of people can be included in general terms: interest in certain activities and specific people, means of communication, the results of cooperation, the nature of relations between partners, etc. However, the ones mentioned above are the most significant for understanding the interactions.

The mutual control over each other carried out by the participants in joint activities can lead to a revision of the individual motives of the activity, if there are significant differences in their direction and level. As a result, the individual motives of people begin to coordinate.

In the course of this process, there is a constant coordination of thoughts, feelings, relations of partners in joint life. It is clothed in various forms of people's influence on each other. Some of them encourage the partner to take action (order, request, proposal), others authorize the actions of partners (consent or refusal), and still others call for discussion (question, reasoning). The discussion itself can take the form of coverage, conversation, debate, conference, seminar and a whole range of other types of interpersonal contacts. However, the choice of forms of influence is often dictated by the functional-role relationships of partners in joint work. For example, the supervisor's control function encourages him to use more frequent orders, requests, and authorizing responses, while the pedagogical function of the same supervisor requires more frequent use of discussion forms of interaction. Thus, the process of mutual influence of interaction partners is realized. Through it, people "process" each other, seeking to change and transform mental states, attitudes and, ultimately, the behavior and psychological qualities of partners in joint activities.

Mutual influence as a change in opinions and assessments can be situational when circumstances require it. As a result of repeated changes in opinions and assessments, stable assessments and opinions are formed, the convergence of which leads to the behavioral, emotional and cognitive unity of the participants in the interaction. This, in turn, leads to a convergence of interests and value orientations, intellectual and characterological characteristics of partners.

The mechanisms of suggestion, conformity and persuasion are regulators of the mutual influence of people on each other, when, under the influence of the opinions, relations of one partner, the opinions and attitudes of the other change. They are formed on the basis of a deeper property of living systems - imitation. In contrast to the latter, suggestion, conformity and persuasion regulate interpersonal norms of thoughts and feelings.

Suggestion is an influence on other people that is perceived unconsciously. Conformity, in contrast to suggestion, is a phenomenon of a conscious change in opinions and assessments. Situationally and consciously, conformity allows you to maintain and harmonize ideas (norms) about the events taking place in the life and activities of people. Of course, events have varying degrees of significance for those who are forced to evaluate them. Persuasion is a process of long-term influence on another person, during which the norms and rules of behavior of interaction partners are consciously acquired.

The convergence or change in mutual points of view and opinions affects all areas and levels of interacting people. In the context of solving specific current problems of life and activity, especially communication, their convergence - divergence acts as a kind of regulator of interpersonal interaction. If the convergence of assessments and opinions forms a single "language", group norms of relations, behavior and activity, then their divergence acts as a driving force for the development of interpersonal relations and groups.

Interpersonal interactions depend on the degree certainties – uncertainties (obviousness - non-obviousness) facts, events, phenomena for which certain decisions are made. Researchers found the following relationship: with a high certainty (obviousness) of the problem, the probability of changes in assessments and opinions is less, the adequacy of their solution is higher. With high uncertainty (non-obviousness) of the problem, the probability of changes in assessments and opinions is greater, the adequacy of their solution is less high. This dependence can be called the law of "socio-psychological expediency", which generally indicates that in the conditions of discussion of opinions, assessments, their adequacy to the real state of affairs increases.

The highest level interaction is always an extremely effective joint activity of people, accompanied by mutual understanding. "Mutual understanding of people is the level of interaction at which the content and structure of the present and possible next actions of the partner are realized, as well as common goals are mutually achieved. For mutual understanding, joint activities are not enough, interaction is needed. It excludes its antipode - mutual opposition, with the appearance of which misunderstandings arise, and then the lack of understanding of man by man "(Davydov GA, 1980).

At the same time, mutual misunderstanding is one of the essential prerequisites for the disintegration of human interaction or the cause of a wide variety of interpersonal difficulties, conflicts, etc.

An essential characteristic of mutual understanding is always its adequacy. It depends on a number of factors: on the type of relationship between partners (acquaintance and friendship, friendship, love and marriage, comradeship, business); from the sign or valence of relations (likes, dislikes, indifferent relations); on the degree of possible objectification, the manifestation of personality traits in the behavior and activities of people (sociability, for example, is most easily observed in the process of communication interaction). The opinion, assessment of other more or less significant people, groups, authority figures are of great importance in adequacy as accuracy, depth and breadth of perception and interpretation.

For a correct analysis of mutual understanding, two factors can be correlated - sociometric status and the degree of similarity to it. At the same time, the following becomes clear: Persons with different socio-psychological statuses in the team interact with each other (make friends); reject each other, i.e. experiencing interpersonal rejection, those persons who have a similar and insufficiently high status.

In pairs of people mutually rejecting each other, the combinations "choleric - choleric", "sanguine - sanguine" and "phlegmatic - sanguine" are most often encountered. There was not a single case of mutual denials in a pair of the "phlegmatic - phlegmatic" type.

Melancholic people have a wider range of combinations with other types of temperament, who steadily retain interpersonal attractiveness to their own kind, phlegmatic and sanguine people. The combination of a melancholic with a choleric is extremely rare: choleric, due to their irritability, "unrestraint" get along badly (incompatible) with melancholic.

Thus, interaction is a complex multi-stage and multifaceted process, during which communication, perception, relationships, mutual influences and mutual understanding of people are carried out.

• The term "contact" is used in several meanings. "Contact" can mean touch (from lat. contactus, contingo - touch, touch, grab, reach, reach, have a relationship with someone). In psychology, contact is called the convergence of subjects in time and space, as well as a certain measure of closeness in relationships. In this regard, in some cases they speak of "good" and "close", "direct" or, conversely, about "weak", "unstable", "unstable", "mediated" contact; in other cases - about contact as a necessary condition for correct interaction. Having a contact, i.e. known stage of intimacy is always seen as a desirable basis for effective interaction.

Society does not consist of separate individuals, but reveals the sum of those connections and relationships in which these individuals are relative to each other. The basis of these connections and relationships is formed by the actions of people and their mutual influence, called interaction. Interaction is a process of direct or indirect influence of objects (subjects) on each other, giving rise to their mutual conditioning and interconnection1.

In interaction, a person's attitude to another person is realized as to a subject who has his own world. Interaction in social philosophers and psychology, as well as management theory, in addition, is understood not only the influence of people on each other, but also the direct organization of their joint actions, which allows the group to realize the common activity for its members. The interaction of a person with a person in society is also the interaction of their inner worlds: exchange of opinions, ideas, images, influence on goals and needs, influence on the assessments of another individual, his emotional state.

Interaction is the systematic and constant performance of actions aimed at eliciting responses from others. The joint life and activity of people both in society and in the organization, in contrast to the individual, has more severe restrictions on any manifestations of activity or passivity. In the process of real interaction, the employee's adequate ideas about himself and other people are also formed. The interaction of people is a leading factor in the regulation of their self-assessments and behavior in society.

In the organization, there are two types of interaction - interpersonal and intergroup, which are carried out in the system of interpersonal relations and communication.

Interpersonal interaction in the organization - These are long-term or short-term, verbal or non-verbal contacts between employees within groups, departments, teams, which cause mutual changes in their behavior, activities, attitudes and attitudes. The more contacts take place between their members and the more time they spend together, the more narrow the work of all departments and the organization as a whole is.

Intergroup interaction - the process of direct or indirect action of a set of subjects (objects) on each other, giving rise to their interdependence and the peculiar nature of relations. Usually it is present between entire groups of the organization (as well as their parts) and is an integrating factor.

Interpersonal relationships (relationships) - these are interconnections between people, subjectively experienced and in which the system of their interpersonal attitudes, orientations, expectations, hopes is manifested, which are determined by the content of joint activities1. In the organization, they arise and develop in the process of joint activities and communication.

Communication - a complex multidimensional process of establishing and developing contacts and connections between people, generated by the needs of joint activities and includes the exchange of information and the formation of a single strategy of interaction, vzaemovidnosyn2. Communication in the organization is mainly included in the practical interaction of people (joint work, learning) and provides planning, implementation and control of their activities. The immediate basis for communication between people in an organization is joint activities that unite them to achieve a specific goal. A broader understanding of the factors that induce people to communicate is outlined in Western science. Among them, first of all, we can name the following:

Exchange theory (J. Homans): people interact with each other based on their experience, weighing possible rewards and costs;

Symbolic interactionism (J. Mead, G. Bloomer): the behavior of people in relation to each other and objects of the surrounding world is established by the values \u200b\u200bthat they provide them;

Managing impressions (E. Hoffman): situations of social interaction, like dramatic performances, in which the actors try to create and maintain pleasant impressions;

Psychological theory (S. Freud): the interaction of people is strongly influenced by the concepts learned in early childhood and conflicts.

In the process of selecting personnel, forming production groups and teams, the manager should take into account a number of psychological characteristics of the behavioral reactions of individuals from the initial stage of the development of their interaction.

So, at the initial stage (low level), interaction is the simplest primary contacts of people, when between them there is a certain primary and very simplified mutual or one-sided "physical" influence on each other in order to exchange information and communication, which, as a result of specific reasons, can not to achieve your goal, and therefore not to acquire all-round development.

The main thing in the success of initial contacts is the acceptance or non-acceptance of the partners in the interaction of each other. At the same time, they do not represent a simple "sum" of individuals, but are some completely new and specific formation of connections and relationships that are regulated by real or imaginary difference - similarity, similarity - contrast of people attracted to joint activities (practical or mental). Differences between individuals is one of the main conditions for the development of their interaction (communication, relationships, compatibility, wear and tear), as well as themselves as individuals.

Any contact begins with a specific-sensory perception of the appearance, features of the activity and behavior of other people. At this moment, as a rule, the emotional-behavioral reactions of individuals to each other dominate.

Attitudes of acceptance - rejection are found in facial expressions, gestures, posture, gaze, intonation, an attempt to end or continue communication. They indicate whether people like each other or not. If not, then there are mutual or one-sided reactions of rejection (glancing, withdrawing the hand when shaking, preventing the head, body, guarding gestures, "sour mine", fussing, running away, etc.). And vice versa, people turn to those who smile, look directly and openly, turn their faces, respond with cheerful and cheerful intonation, as those who are trustworthy and with whom further cooperation can be developed on the basis of joint efforts.

Of course, the acceptance or rejection of the interaction partners of each other has deeper roots. Therefore, one should distinguish between scientifically grounded and proven levels of homogeneity - different rarity (degree of similarity - differences) of the participants in the interaction.

The first (or lower) level of homogeneity is the ratio of individual (natural) and personal parameters (temperament, intelligence, character, motivation, interests, value orientations) of people. Of particular importance in interpersonal interaction are age and sex differences between partners.

The second (upper) level of homogeneity - heterogeneity (degree of similarity - contrast of participants in interpersonal interaction) - represents the ratio in the group (similarity - difference) of opinions, attitudes (including sympathies - antipathies) to oneself, partners or other people and to the objective world (including in joint activities). The second level is divided into sublevels: primary (or ascending) and secondary (or effective). The primary sublevel is ascending, the ratio of opinions given in interpersonal interaction (about the world of objects and their own kind). The second sublevel is the ratio (similarity - difference) of opinions and relationships, as a result of interpersonal interaction, the exchange of thoughts and feelings between participants in joint activities1. The congruence effect also plays an important role in the interaction at its initial stage.

Congruence (lat. Congruens, congruentis - proportionate, appropriate, that which coincides) - confirmation of mutual role expectations, the only resonant rhythm, consonance of the experiences of the participants in the contact.

The congruence provides for a minimum number of roughnesses in the key moments of the lines of behavior of the participants in the contact, the result of which is the release of tension, the emergence of trust and sympathy at the subconscious level.

The congruence is enhanced by the partner's feeling of participation, interest, mutual search activity based on his needs and life experience. It may appear from the first minutes of contact between previously unfamiliar partners or may not arise at all. But the presence of congruence indicates an increased likelihood that the interaction will continue. Therefore, in the process of interaction, it is necessary to try to achieve congruence from the first minutes of contact.

In shaping the organizational behavior of employees of an organization based on the development of interpersonal interaction, it is necessary to take into account a number of factors that contribute to the achievement of congruence. The main ones include:

1) the experience of belonging, which occurs in the following cases:

Connectivity of the goals of the subjects of interaction with each other;

Having a basis for interpersonal rapprochement;

Affiliation of subjects to one social group;

2) empathy (gr. Empatheia - empathy), which is more easily realized:

For establishing emotional contact;

Similarities in the behavioral and emotional responses of partners;

Having the same attitude to a certain subject;

In the case of drawing attention to the feelings of partners (for example, they are simply described)

8) identification, which is enhanced:

When living various behavioral processes of the interacting parties;

When a person sees the traits of his character in another;

When partners seem to exchange opinions and conduct discussions from each other's positions;

Provided there is a community of opinion, interests, social roles and positions.

As a result of congruence and effective initial contacts, feedback is established between people - a process of mutually directed response actions that contributes to the maintenance of subsequent interaction and during which there is also a deliberate or unintentional message to another person about how his behavior and actions (or their consequences) are perceived or experienced.

There are three main functions of feedback. They are usually:

Regulator of human behavior and actions;

The regulator of interpersonal relations;

A source of self-knowledge.

Feedback is of different types, and each of its variants corresponds to one or another specificity of the interaction of people and the emergence of stable relations between them.

Feedback can be:

Verbal (transmitted as a speech message);

Non-verbal, that is, such that it is carried out with the help of facial expressions, posture, intonation of the voice, etc.;

Such that it is embodied in the form of action oriented towards revealing, showing to another person understanding, approval, and turns out to be in general activity.

Feedback can be direct and delayed in time, brightly emotionally colored and transmitted by a person to another person as a kind of experience, or be with minimal manifestation of emotions and corresponding behavioral reactions.

Different types of joint activities are appropriate for their own types of feedback. Therefore, it should be noted that the inability to use feedback significantly hinders the interaction of people in the organization, reduces the effectiveness of management.

The psychological community of participants in organizational interaction, situations strengthens their contacts, helps the development of relationships between them, contributes to the transformation of their personal relationships and actions into common ones. Attitudes, needs, interests, relationships in general, being motives, determine the promising areas of interaction between partners, while their tactics are also governed by mutual understanding of the characteristics of people, their images-ideas about each other, about themselves, the tasks of joint activities.

At the same time, the regulation of the interaction and relationships of people is carried out not by one, but by a whole group of images. In addition to the images-representations of partners about each other, the system of psychological regulators of joint activity includes images-representations of oneself - the so-called I-concept, the totality of all ideas of the individual about himself, which leads to the conviction of his behavior, with the help of which the person determines who he is. there is. This is also added to the idea of \u200b\u200bpartners about the impressions that they make on each other, the ideal image of the social role that partners play, views on the possible results of joint activities. And although these images-representations are not always clearly understood by people, the psychological content, concentrated in attitudes, motives, needs, interests, relationships, turns out to be with the help of volitional actions in various forms of behavior aimed at a partner.

At the initial stage of the process of interaction of people in a group (organization), active cooperation is gradually developing, more and more is embodied in an effective solution to the problem of combining mutual efforts of employees. This stage is called productive joint activity.

There are three forms, or models, of organizing joint activities:

Each participant performs his part of the common work independently of the other;

The overall task is performed sequentially by each participant;

There is a simultaneous interaction of each participant with all the others (typical in the conditions of the team organization of work and the development of horizontal ties), the real existence of which depends on the conditions of the activity, its goals and content.

In an organization or its subdivisions, the aspirations of people can still lead to clashes in the process of agreeing positions, as a result of which people enter into a relationship of "agree-disagree" one after another. In case of agreement, the partners are involved in joint activities. In this case, there is a distribution of roles and functions between the participants in the interaction. These relations cause a special direction of volitional efforts among the subjects of interaction, associated either with concession or with the conquest of certain positions. Therefore, partners are required to display mutual tolerance, composure, perseverance, psychological mobility and other volitional qualities of the individual, based on intelligence and a high level of his consciousness and self-awareness. At the same time, the interaction of people is actively accompanied and mediated by the manifestation of complex socio-psychological phenomena, which are called compatibility and incompatibility or wear and tear - lack of conformity. Interpersonal relations in a group (organization) and a certain degree of compatibility (physiological and psychological) of its members give rise to another socio-psychological phenomenon, which is commonly called "psychological climate."

There are several types of human compatibility. Psychophysiological compatibility is based on the interaction of characteristics of temperament, needs of individuals. Psychological compatibility involves the interaction of characters, intellects, motives of behavior. Socio-psychological compatibility is a prerequisite for the coordination of social roles, interests, value orientations of the participants. Finally, socio-ideological compatibility is based on the commonality of ideological values, the similarity of social attitudes in relation to various facts of reality associated with the implementation of ethnic, class and confessional interests. There are no clear boundaries between these types of compatibility, while the extreme levels of compatibility, for example, physiological and socio-psychological, socio-ideological, have obvious semblances1.

In joint activities, control by the participants themselves is noticeably intensified (self-control, self-examination, mutual control, mutual verification), which affects the executive part of the activity, including the speed and accuracy of individual and joint actions.

However, it should be remembered that the engine of interaction and joint activity is primarily the motivation of its participants. There are several types of social interaction motives (that is, the motives through which a person interacts with other people):

Maximization of the total (joint) gain (motive of cooperation)

Maximizing your own gain (individualism)

Maximizing the relative gain (competition)

Maximizing the other's gain (altruism)

Minimization of another's gain (aggression);

Minimization of differences in gains (equality) 2. Mutual control carried out by the participants of the joint

activity, can lead to a revision of individual motives of activity, if there are significant differences in their focus and level. As a result, individual motives begin to be corrected and coordinated.

During this process, thoughts, feelings, relationships of partners in joint activities are constantly coordinated in various forms of people's influence on each other. Some of them encourage the partner to take action (order, request, proposal), others authorize the actions of partners (consent or refusal), and still others call for discussion (question, reflection), which can take place in different forms. However, the choice of impact is more often determined by the functional-role relationships of partners in joint work. For example, the supervisor's (manager's) control function encourages him to more frequent use of orders, requests, and authorizing responses, while the educational function of the same leader often requires the use of debatable forms of interaction. Thus, the process of mutual influence of interaction partners is realized. With its help, people "process" each other, trying to change and transform mental states, attitudes and, ultimately, the behavior and psychological qualities of participants in joint activities.

Communicating with the people around us is one of the important skills that we face every day. Communication skills are acquired and formed in childhood, and then - depending on personal experience and the people around them - is transformed, improved or degraded. Not every modern person knows how to build relationships with people not only successfully, but also on a mutually beneficial basis. It is important to have not only analytical skills, but also to know what the rules and secrets of this process exist.

But all this primarily depends on the person himself. For some it is easier, for others it is harder. The problem of relationships with people will always be acute in modern society, and this topic will never cease to be studied by all kinds of psychologists and sociologists - and all because this is a real storehouse of new ideas and theories that allow you to learn more about society as a whole, and about each person specifically.

Let's take a look at the rules and secrets of successfully building relationships with people around you based on the recommendations of practicing psychologists.

Three top secrets of communication success

As psychologists say, there are three main secrets to interpersonal communication success. They include aspects such as:

• the ability to listen and hear your interlocutor;
• the ability to adequately assess their own abilities and role in the life of the contactee;
• the adequacy of psychological reactions in response to the information received.

If you have problems with contact with other people, then first of all you should pay attention to childhood. Even the smallest and seemingly imperceptible events sometimes cause serious problems. It is very important to learn from early childhood to find a common language with others, which is not always easy. But it is through this that we learn to be adults and learn to build relationships with other people. Without such a skill, it is impossible to live in the modern world: you want it or not, but every day you communicate with sellers, neighbors, parents and colleagues.

The ability to listen to and adequately evaluate the information received is the most important communication skill. It is impossible to build successful relationships with the people around you if you do not give exactly the reaction that the interlocutor expects to see. For example, a friend, when talking about her problems in relationships with men, does not always want to hear regret and pity. Most often, such a person is looking for moral support and information that will raise self-esteem.

You must always remain true to yourself, regardless of who fate brought you to in life and at work. Do not try to impress a person by pretending to be who you really are not - even a small lie in such things will sooner or later be revealed. Don't try to be someone other than yourself - this is the best way to build relationships with other people. We always feel when a person is sincere and when he throws dust in his eyes. And your actions should also show you as an individual, not a pretty copy of someone else's image. Do and act as you see fit. When discussing this or that issue, you should probably be sure of the things you are talking about.

You should also be genuinely interested in what you are talking about with the other person. This is the best way to meet and befriend a lot of people. Another important condition is respect for both oneself and the interlocutor. And do not skimp on compliments and praise - people really like it when their merits are appreciated and their actions are celebrated. This is not only a way to show your good breeding, but also an opportunity to raise the self-esteem of another person, give him confidence or add enthusiasm in any undertaking.

The basis of relationships between people is trust and sincerity!

The foundation and basis of any relationship is trust; without it you cannot go far in the modern world. Trust arises only if the person is sure of who you are. You should not put walls in relationships with people because of past sad experiences - undoubtedly, this is very, very difficult to do. But this useful skill will only add advantages to you as a person, a very strong personality.

Trust and sincerity of your intentions are a solid foundation of strong and lasting relationships between people, regardless of social and gender differences!

The next principle is: “Say what you're going to do. And do it. " Don't make promises that you can't keep. You should not promise a person mountains of gold if you are not even confident in your abilities or have no idea how you will do it. You will be a man of your word, and then those around you will undoubtedly be drawn to you. People will know that you can be trusted, that you are an integral person who knows your capabilities well and skillfully accepts them, and does not pay attention to the envy and stupidity of others, he does not try to seem like someone else.

Smile as often as possible under any circumstances. Just look at those around you. And what do you see there? Tired, irritated and impatient faces of people who are always in a hurry somewhere or swear with someone. I don't even want to approach them, let alone talk. A smiling person immediately attracts the attention of others and instinctively evokes a sense of trust. A smile is the best accessory for a girl, which designers have not forgotten to tell us almost since the very appearance of fashion. She seems to say: “I like you. You make me happy. I'm glad to see you". Just try, and you will see - people, for the most part, answer us in kind.

Most successful people know how to build relationships between people at various social levels. This allows them to motivate others to be successful, support in difficult times and influence the behavior of employees. It is worth using these rules and secrets to successfully build interpersonal communications.

When talking, you should avoid criticism, condemnation or pity, which often do not solve the problem at all, and sometimes even aggravate the problem. Without noticing it, you can offend a person or completely ruin the relationship. It is worth carefully monitoring your speech and trying to understand the person, and not condemn, not knowing and not understanding the situation. Put yourself in their shoes: what would you do in a similar situation, what would it be like for you and what would you do? And then, together with your interlocutor, try to find a way or at least develop several possible options for a way out of a particular situation.

And the last, most important rule is the ability to remain silent at the right time. It is this quality that we value so much in others, and we want to be noticed and appreciated in us. The ability to remain silent at the right time and listen without interrupting the interlocutor disposes people to a more frank dialogue, or just a conversation in a kind and calm atmosphere.

From the very moment of his birth, a person is an integral part of interrelated and interacting social relations. He finds himself drawn into chains and series of interactions. The problem of his experience is no longer the fixation of individual interactions, but contact with interaction systems.

Even more complex interactions characterize the life of society, because society is a process and product of human interaction both with nature and with each other. The spiritual world of people is organized through semantic (psychological, logical, moral-aesthetic and other) interactions.

Equally, any society interacts with each other through the use of interaction, without which there would be nothing, allowing at the same time to develop characteristics of the forms of human events, human activity and cognition. It is the complex forms of interaction that characterize the life of society. According to Karl Marx, society is a "product of human interaction"

Interaction also contains a cognitive paradox. On the one hand, it manifests itself due to the “inscribing” of the cognizing person into the situation, on the other hand, it indicates factors, forces and reasons that go beyond the cognitive situation, independent of the subject, causing the discrepancy between interactions and its detection by a person.

The given interaction puts a person in front of the need to reckon with their objective properties, which do not depend on his cognitive attitude and its influence on the logic of things. This paradoxicality of interaction is associated with the fact that a person does not exist in separate acts of events with people and things, but in sequences, rows, interweaving of such acts.

For homo sapiens, who arose historically, his consciousness, the world around him already represented the interaction of root principles - material and spiritual - as realities that exist outside and independently of the consciousness that perceives them and appeared for him simultaneously. Such a view can evolve historically, but in principle it retains its internal stability and comprehensive character, a tendency to endless refinement, development and improvement, approaching the most correct understanding of the world and of man himself, from the point of view of the “philosophy of interaction”, but never exhausting it ...

The desire to see and find interaction everywhere and everywhere, always and in everything corresponds to the objective nature of objects, things and phenomena - material and spiritual - and at the same time gives a person the most universal and correct orientation for comprehending the surrounding reality and himself, as well as for his behavior in society and in communication with other people.

The desire for interaction awakens, stimulates, develops and consolidates the best, generally useful human qualities of lasting value, such as discernment, tolerance, endurance, compassion, self-control, trust, compliance, mercy, kindness, etc.

In the socio-political sphere, the attitude towards interaction presupposes an understanding of the opposite position, other interests and needs, the certain correctness of the other side, the ability to come to broader and more comprehensive views, to an awareness of the priority of deeper, converging and uniting different positions of common interests.

As a result of interaction, a true victory is the victory of each of the parties over itself, its own limitations, narrowness and egoism. Victory then becomes a mutual victory, and therefore internally strong and beneficial for both sides and wider - for all who are somehow connected with the process of interaction of opposing sides or forces in this case.

During the interaction, the fundamental independence and certainty of each of the interacting parties is preserved. At the same time, each of them makes some concessions, ultimately mutually acceptable and mutually beneficial. However, genuine interaction is impossible with complete surrender or complete intransigence of one of the parties. This applies to both the material and spiritual spheres of life, and to politics and culture.

Sight, hearing, touch, smell is an interaction between objects of perception and certain senses. Any movement in space is also the interaction of various physical bodies and a person with earth, water, etc. Being in any environment, physical bodies and a person interact with it and with each other, even being at rest. Any relationship of a person to any object and actions with it are interaction with this object. Any human activity (material and spiritual) is an interaction between the performer's intention and its real embodiment, in the process of which their mutual coordination takes place. Interaction occurs in objects of animate and inanimate nature at different levels of their structure and various processes occurring in them. In a word, the phenomenon of interaction embraces the entire world around a person (material and spiritual) and the person himself.

Interaction as a real phenomenon and as a representation has actually always existed, if we take the emergence of homo sapiens as the starting point, but only in modern conditions there are the greatest historical and logical grounds for making interaction a truly leading and defining postulate of a special “philosophy of interaction”, truly comprehensive and fundamentally new, in comparison with all previous philosophical trends and concepts.

The true good and happiness of a person consists in his interaction, as complete, organic and fruitful as possible, with the world around him, material and spiritual, and with other people, and interaction with everything that is “dissimilar” and similar to himself, allowing a person to show his own capabilities and learn everything he needs and what is useful to him, received from without, constitutes the purpose and meaning of human life.

Each interaction implies the desire of the individual to achieve specific goals. The goals of the philosophy of interaction are understood as a state or result that does not exist at the present time, but which are planned to be achieved in the process of interaction with other objects.

The degree of achievement of the goals in the implementation of interaction is called its effectiveness. The greater the degree of goals achieved, the greater the effectiveness. However, the goals can be different and unequal. In the legal literature, they are classified according to the degree of their importance into goals of a higher and lower level.

The characteristic of interaction as a mutual change of the sides of the system, in which the movement becomes "circular", also applies to any specific system of interacting phenomena. This particular system also acts as a "cause of itself", i.e. contains within itself the source of its own movement. Understood in this way, the reason coincides with the internal contradiction of this particular system.

Interaction is always concrete in the sense that it is always the relationship of the parties. A holistic system is determined, for example, the solar system, plant, animal kingdoms, human society, certain socio-economic formations. The content of the interaction is determined by the nature of its constituent moments, the mutual change of which acts as a specific movement of the given system. Any specific system, such as living organisms, can serve as examples of such dialectical interaction. Living organisms refract the effects of the external environment through the specific organization of their body and the relationship of individuals of a given species. A striking example of a self-preserving, self-reproducing and self-propelled system of interacting phenomena can be precisely human society in its development, based on specific social laws.

Separately, I would like to dwell on the current that appeared in the middle of the 20th century - namely, the "Philosophy of Interaction" ("bialism"). The philosophy of interaction proceeds from the premise that all real phenomena in the world, that is, existing outside and independently of their perception, at all levels and in any expression, represent the interaction of their inherent material and spiritual principles. The world is “binaren”, not “monistic”. Both principles are primordial and sovereign. There is not and cannot be any “primacy”, ontologically - genetic and structural-functional of one of them. One beginning does not exist outside and without the other. It can dominate the phenomenon. Both principles constantly and inexhaustiblely complement and mutually enrich each other. At the same time, they are able to partially pass into each other, strengthening one of the principles. At the same time, never and never where, in anything and at any level, one of the principles will completely pass into another.

Interaction is a process, the internal unity of which is carried out in the continuous change of its elements, sides. Reproduction of a phenomenon based on the interaction of its own elements and acts as its development (self-development). In a self-developing system, the reason for its existence ultimately turns out to be its own consequence. The chain of causes and actions closes here not only on the “ring”, but also on the “spiral”. An example of such a form of interaction is the system of interaction of economic phenomena, scientifically reproduced in Marx's Capital.

The theory and practice of man are in a similar relationship of interaction. Theory is not only a consequence of practice. Arising on the basis of practice and receiving an active stimulus for its development in it, the theory has an opposite effect on practice.

However, a closer analysis reveals that the "pure" interaction of the two is an idealization that leaves behind the "hidden" intermediaries: norms, stereotypes, orientations that go "beyond the boundaries" of direct contact. In the field of analysis of natural objects and systems, it is also necessary to take into account various kinds of time, ensemble, and population dependencies when characterizing the interaction, which are not recorded within the framework of direct interactions. The person, thus, is drawn into chains and series of interactions. The problem of his experience is no longer the fixation of individual interactions, but contact with systems of interaction.

Actually, this is what distinguishes the modern "non-classical" situation of cognition from the classical one, formed "around" a separate interaction of things, which presupposes a separate subject with a separate act of fixing the interaction. But the more noticeable this difference, the clearer it is that the definition of the cognitive situation by the scheme of individual interaction was a kind of idealization, emphasized on the usual and stable forms of human experience. The simplicity of the experience of human interactions turned out to be predetermined, conditioned, requiring explanations complementary to ordinary experience.

Interaction contains a cognitive paradox. On the one hand, it manifests itself due to the "inscribing" of the cognizing person into the situation, on the other hand, it indicates factors, forces and causes that go beyond the cognitive situation, independent of the subject, causing the discrepancy between the interaction and its detection by the person.

It can be noted that such a paradox of interaction is associated with the fact that a person does not exist in separate acts of events with people and things, but in sequences, rows, interweaving of such acts. He constantly has to move from individual interactions to their linkages and chains, and, consequently, to change his cognitive positions, means and tools. In fact, he needs to do this in order to see indirect interactions behind direct interactions, in order to master or create means that include him in systems of interconnections broader than those that are directly given to him.

In the public domain, an example of interaction can be direct communication between human individuals. Interaction is often identified with direct interaction.

Direct interactions reveal individual properties of objects, but they can not always characterize their features, the certainty of their inherent forms of movement. Concretization of ideas about the types of movement, about special sets of interconnected objects, about their qualities is achieved by a person through the creation of measuring instruments, concepts of measures, knowledge about the categories of phenomena and methods of their comparison. This experience is consolidated in knowledge, which is commonly called scientific.

The key is the question of the correlation between the given to a person of the situation of his being and the need for a person to go beyond this given, to take into account this need in the characteristics of his being. Interaction is the starting point of various kinds of cognitive situations insofar as they reveal shifts and changes in the states and movements of objects, in positions, actions and perceptions of a person. Interaction, "discovering" the properties of the objects included in it, at the same time indirectly determines the situation of cognition, fixes the cognitive abilities of the subject, his "placement" in the situation, his involvement in the interaction, and therefore his own properties.

interaction society human philosophy