What woman a man will not drink with. Why do men drink: symptoms, causes of drunkenness, addiction, consultations of psychologists, necessary treatment and preventive work

Time to read the article:2 minutes

Why does a man start drinking

Why does a husband drink - this is a question many women ask themselves, whose family happiness has been shaken due to the alcoholism of a spouse. This disease will destroy relationships, turning the closest person into a hated enemy.

The alcoholic not only suffers from his addiction, but also makes the life of his family unbearable. A woman is trying with all her might to influence her husband, to make him stop drinking, but, as a rule, her efforts are in vain.

She begs her husband to stop, persuades him to be treated, manipulates, sets conditions, threatens, but nothing helps. From this, the wife of an alcoholic falls into despair, she feels sorry for herself and the children.

Specificity of alcoholic families

The addict rarely recognizes himself as such. Drinking every weekend is considered quite normal, because after a working week you want to relax properly. We drink every Friday, and sometimes Saturday and Sunday.

And the woman convinces herself that all this is in the order of things. Even when the situation gets worse, she hopes that she can change her and sooner or later she will be able to get her husband to stop drinking.

Alcoholism should be distinguished from ordinary household drinking. If a person drinks when walking with friends or alone, and at the same time is able to control himself, then he is just a drunkard. He likes this state. But he can stop if necessary. If, for example, he has any health problems related to alcohol, he will easily give up drinking.

The alcoholic drinks in spite of everything. He does not quit drinking when health problems arise. If the family suffers, problems arise at work, the alcoholic continues to drink, despite this. He denies his problem, even when he goes into long binges, skips work because of drinking, drinks the last money in the family, raises his hand against his wife in a fit of rage. He doesn't care what he drinks - beer, vodka or diluted alcohol.

The husband drinks, he has no strength to endure it. But the alcoholic's wife does not leave him for the following reasons:

  1. She feels sorry for her husband. He alone will not cope with alcoholism and most likely will not be able to survive without it at all, since he is not able to take care of himself.
  2. Sorry for the children. The woman believes that, having separated from her husband, she thereby deprives the children of their father. Despite the fact that the alcoholic, as a rule, hardly takes part in their upbringing, she thinks that it is better with him than without him.
  3. A woman is afraid that she will remain alone forever, that, having abandoned her alcoholic husband, she will not be able to find a worthy man who would love her. And the drinking spouse will not go anywhere. Better to be with someone than alone. She even convinces herself that her husband is actually good, it's just that it's hard for him now.
  4. There is no way to leave. Changing an apartment is quite problematic, and renting is expensive.

Why does he drink

Faced with her husband's alcoholism, a woman tries to comprehend the situation and find the reasons for what is happening.

She often blames herself - and to a certain extent she does. Both spouses are always responsible for family problems.

This is not to say that a person drinks for any one reason. It is necessary to talk about a whole complex of factors that provoke him to drink alcohol:

  1. General dissatisfaction with life and low self-esteem. A person is not happy with anything, he is pursued by failures at work and in his personal life. In this situation, you want to shield yourself from reality, and alcohol in this regard may seem like a suitable way to do this. It causes a state of euphoria, and the current problems no longer seem so serious. It is not surprising that a person tends to be in this state more and more often.
  2. Desire to relax. Each person has their own ways to relieve emotional stress. It can be sports, chatting with friends live and in social networks, going to the cinema, playing computer games. For some, alcohol can be this relaxation method.
  3. Desire to get away from problems. Alcoholism is called the disease of irresponsibility. It really is. Each new day poses for people the next tasks that need to be solved. This is not always pleasant to do. For example, it is sometimes necessary to communicate with representatives of government agencies to obtain any kind of certificate, to make repairs in the apartment on their own. But going into a binge, the alcoholic postpones the solution of these problems indefinitely. Most likely, someone close to him will have to solve his problems.
  4. Alcoholism in the parental family. Situations when there are no prerequisites for problems with alcoholic beverages are quite rare. If one of the parents suffered from alcoholism, then there is a high probability that the same behavior patterns will be repeated in the next generation. The classic situation is when the father and grandfather drank in the same way at an alcoholic. A girl whose father drank in the family unconsciously chooses a young man prone to alcoholism as her husband. And even if initially he will be a nondrinker, most likely the husband and wife will interact and communicate in such a way that eventually this problem will arise in the family. She will criticize him for something, in revenge he will drink and express to her all the claims that he did not dare to utter in a sober state.

The husband's alcoholism is conditionally beneficial to the whole family.

A man avoids responsibility for solving family problems, gets a way to relax. A woman, on the other hand, can feel her importance in the life of the family, because it is on her that everything rests. She is supported by relatives, friends and acquaintances who are devoted to family problems. Against the background of the alcoholic husband, his wife looks almost a saint. She is a martyr, society pity her, and everyone is trying to help her.

What should a wife do

What to do for my husband to lead a normal sober life. If a woman is faced with her husband's alcoholism and wants to change the situation, she should adhere to the following recommendations:

  1. She needs to admit that she is not able to change her husband if he himself does not want to. She cannot control him all the time.
  2. The spouse must be responsible for his actions. You should not try to shield him from his superiors, blush for him, try to justify him in front of the people around him, and return his debts. He himself must face the consequences of his actions. If you indulge in such irresponsible behavior, then the situation will worsen.
  3. A woman needs to realize that in the current situation she has certain benefits: the approval of society, a sense of being needed and irreplaceable. She needs to decide what will be preferable for her: whether she will leave everything as it is, or will she fight her husband's alcoholism, or she will divorce and leave him alone with her problem.
  4. You need to try to persuade your husband to get treatment and start visiting groups of Alcoholics Anonymous. Also, the wife can attend support groups for codependents herself - she really needs it.
  5. There is no need to threaten your husband if you are not really ready to do what you say.

Sometimes only divorce can affect a husband. Only the real threat of being alone motivates some people to take the path of getting rid of addiction.

Why do men drink in relationships?

This question is quite voluminous and it is difficult to expand it in one note, so I would like to dwell on this moment: a man goes into a relationship with a woman, creates a family and at a certain moment he starts drinking, someone earlier, someone later, and who something doesn't start. Based on my observations of clients and myself, I came up with the following assumption. From what can a person start drinking regularly? I will not consider the hereditary predisposition (there may also be nuances here, since I think there is a genetic hereditary disposition, and there is a psychological one) when they start drinking for biological reasons. Here a man and a woman begin to build relationships. In a relationship, they both contribute to what they receive at the exit, to the emotions they experience, to the actions they perform. And as my experience shows, a lot depends on the actions of a woman in a relationship. Often, a woman “castrates” a man by her behavior, statements, actions. It seems to show that you are not a man, you are not like him, you are some kind of sexless creature. And as far as I saw how this happens in relationships, a woman does all this unconsciously, on the contrary, believing that in this way she is trying in every possible way to make a "real" man out of her husband. Of course, I understand that a man could also be stronger and not be destroyed under the pressure of female “care”, but this is a separate topic. In this article, I want to clarify the following: I do not want to accuse women of something, stigmatize and expose them - to show what they are doing so bad with men. Rather, it is an opportunity to look at the situation from one side (on the other hand, I will tell you, there is also something to look at). How can this "castration" take place? For example, a man went “for prey”. He brought home a certain amount of money, which from the woman's point of view is not enough for all family expenses. In this regard, she somehow shows her man that she is not happy, but very often she becomes a person. He says that you are a man, that you cannot provide, what you brought is such nonsense, look how much the neighbor brought and then in the same spirit. And if we add to this claims about the order in the house, the lack of a summer residence, or about its small size and ... In general, if you wish, you can find fault with a man on very many reasons (in principle, like a woman). And if this happens regularly, then over time, which is individual for each man, different, usually difficult to experience emotions begin to appear in a man, which, according to our Slavic tradition, many men drown out with alcohol. Then it becomes a habit. A drunken husband causes even more irritation, drinks even more, in general, a vicious circle.

Once again, I want to clarify, in my article I am not going to expose “evil” women who drive “poor” men to alcoholism. After all, a man also does something so that his woman regularly saws the stronger sex. Men are good too. In the end, with difficult experiences, you do not have to drink, you can go to a psychologist. However, I want to say that women also contribute to the alcoholization of men, and they need it for something.

This is me for the next one. If your man starts drinking, then this is a serious reason to think about whether I did something for this. Ideally, in a sober state (preferably both), bring the man to a conversation. For example, by telling him that you have certain feelings (fear, anxiety, shame, etc.) about the situation. You can and even need to ask your husband what is wrong with him, what you might be doing wrong, what are his experiences and for what reason. Although I am writing these words and I think it is better to take your life partner for a consultation with a family psychologist. But as experience shows, not every man (as, in principle, a woman) can admit that difficulties have arisen in a relationship and agree to go to an appointment. So I will continue. It is important to get into a conversation with your husband and, if possible, without getting personal, which over the years of family life becomes more and more difficult, to talk about the current situation. This can provide an opportunity to look at your usual actions in your relationship in a different way and possibly change your actions in relation to your spouse. In general, if your husband starts drinking and regularly improves in this, then before starting to "treat" his betrothed, he may stop and think about what I did for this. In my experience, this is a much better strategy for building normal family relationships.

Women's magazine AdviceWoman

Why do men drink alcohol?

Drunkenness is a disaster for any happy family. The drinker's relatives and himself suffer from this. Therefore, fighting drunkenness means fighting not so much for the person as for the preservation of the family. And the whole brunt of the struggle usually falls on the woman. To make it more effective, you need to understand why do men eat and how alcohol addiction begins... Let's turn to the psychological and biological aspects of the problem.

The psychological aspect of male alcoholism

The use of alcohol first forms a psychological dependence, and then develops into a physical one. Therefore, it is important to understand the reason why men start drinking. Psychology identifies a lot of reasons, but none of them can be considered an excuse... So, the most common reasons for a man to drink alcohol are:

  • Indulging your own weakness... The man begins to drink, as he perceives the use of alcohol after a hard work as a relaxing procedure or even praise.
  • Avoiding problems... The present state of affairs in the family, at work or in any other area of \u200b\u200blife seems unbearable to him,
    and thus he forces himself to forget about the problem.
  • Lack of understanding... The reason for drunkenness can be a lack of attention from the wife, a lack of affection, lack of recognition of merits, merits, humiliation.
  • Low self-esteem... A man wants to feel relaxed, attractive and confident. Drinking alcohol makes him feel more socially active.
  • Family pressure... Perhaps this is the only way for a man to escape pressure from his wife, mother-in-law, mother or other family members. Mistrust, nit-picking, excessive demanding, jealousy ultimately undermine a man's self-respect.
  • For company... Among the society in which a man revolves, frequent alcohol consumption is the norm.
  • Overcoming a mental crisis... A young man can start drinking in order to muffle mental pain (impotence, betrayal, etc.).

It is known that men, to whom the society makes high demands, forcing them to be strong, decisive and successful, are terrified of not meeting these criteria... For the subconscious of a man, this is a signal of lack of demand, impossibility of domination, and, therefore, absolute inconsistency as a representative of his species. A man trapped in the iron grip of society, unable to realize himself in a social, career or any other way, experiences much more acute suffering than a woman who finds herself in his place. AND alcohol helps a man to forget about this insolvency.

Think about which of the listed problems made your man or husband start drinking? Perhaps he has a hidden reason for this.

Alcohol use statistics

The biological aspect of male alcoholism

The main difference between male and female alcoholism lies in the difference in the work of the nervous system... The male organism evolved in such a way that the psyche of a young person has less stamina, much adapts worse to changing external conditions of the environment, harder to bear stress... Here a popular remedy comes to the rescue - alcohol, which, once in the body, creates an imaginary feeling of relaxation and joy, which is actually oxygen starvation of the brain cells. It turns out that part of the brain is forcibly disconnected from the perception of often "unpleasant" information from the outside. Sleep while intoxicated is physiologically not just a dream, but a fainting spell caused by a chemical disorder in the brain.

Is drinking beer harmful?

Many men do not believe that drinking beer every day is alcohol abuse. It is just a pleasant drink, and in the evening it helps them to relax, promotes good communication in the company. Why men drink beer every weekend, men themselves justify tradition.

The opinion of doctors in this matter is unambiguous. They claim that beer is not at all a harmless drink, but alcohol, since it contains alcohol. If your man assures you that he does not know why men drink alcohol, but he is in spirit to drink a bottle of beer, then remind him that he is at great risk to his health.

If a man drinks every day

Getting used to get rid of all negative emotions with the help of alcohol (an effective and simple way), a person does not know any other solution to problems. He acts as if on a trodden path, constantly resorting to his tried and tested remedy. After all, it relieves mental anguish and suffering. At the same time, the problems themselves have not been solved in any way and have not gone anywhere (and more often, against the background of drunkenness, they are more aggravated).

Reaching intoxication, the drinker creates his own reality and can go into it, for a while leaving all the troubles and worries and troubles, running away from reality and freeing himself from the burden. But the reality that gives freedom from the burden is like a kind of mirage. She beckons, but does not save in any way, disappears as she becomes sober. A person, returning to reality, again faces problems. The circle is closed again.

What do psychologists advise in the question "why does a man drink a lot?" If you have identified a problem that makes your husband drink, you should not immediately strive to leave him, try to solve it together or contact a psychologist. The main thing is to eliminate the reason, since it makes a person escape from difficulties with the help of alcohol. If the reason a man drinks every day is because of an unhealthy family climate and bad relationships, a woman needs to think about how to change her behavior. It is important to understand that the family is a closed system, a change in one element will lead to a change in the entire system as a whole. If the reason why men often drink is a personal crisis, then nothing can be changed without serious work of the drinkers themselves.

How the family suffers

Of course, in the process of living with such a person, loved ones can get sick with neurosis. But it is also important to know something else. We ourselves choose a partner, subconsciously we look for him among many applicants, and our heart responded to him. And we get exactly what we are ready for now. Therefore, the problem of why a man in a family drinks can be solved by joint efforts.

Of course, addiction may not appear immediately, but after many years, but only now the signs of his possible illness can be distinguished already at the stage of acquaintance. Pay attention to how the person speaks about alcohol and the people who abuse it. Does he like to talk at the table on this topic and does he know the measure in this matter. And, of course, believe in your man, and he will definitely cope with his vice.

What I will now write about will certainly not be the ultimate truth. I foresee many objections and comments from those who themselves went through the hell of drunkenness of loved ones and gained negative experience. And yet I hope that this mini-novel about the fight against the green serpent will help some exhausted wives to work out a plan of action if the husband starts drinking, as well as to get out of this most difficult life situation, or at least try to do it with dignity and a sense of accomplishment.

Regular alcohol consumption may or may not be an addiction-disease. First, try to think and assess the scale of the disaster. In any case, frequent attachment to a glass means the presence of certain psychological problems. And the risk of being at the very bottom is still very high.

Therefore, any suspicion of abuse requires attention and action. Which ones? Let's figure it out.

Chapter 1 (theoretical). Disease history

You need to know the enemy by sight. The enemy is strong and cunning, so we have to get to know him better and boldly face the enemy.

The problem of male alcoholism is incredibly relevant today. Two-thirds of Russian families endure an abnormal love of the head of the family for a poisonous drink, sometimes suffering and experiencing whole tragedies because of this. But why do men drink? What is it about this poison that seduces them and makes them use it again and again? Why alcohol is as common as a meal? And how does this become the norm for them - daily drinking?

Psychological factor

In fact, there are many reasons for male drunkenness. Family troubles, problems at work, roots from childhood, Russian tradition, the method of relaxation - a lot of all kinds of prerequisites serve as a kind of excuse for men to drain a mug of cold strong beer in the morning. And the most common reason for this is psychological overtones. Why does a man start drinking?

  • He grows up in a family where his father, and sometimes his mother, often abused alcohol. Often this serves as a starting point in the mind of a man, as if dictating to him the "normality" of this process. Childhood trauma and improper upbringing leave a deep imprint on the morality and worldview of such a young person. We can say, on the one hand, not his fault that he grew up like that. But because a person is considered a person, that he forms himself, creates himself, relying only on his own opinion and not succumbing to the influence of the surrounding society.
  • He gets away from problems in this way. Why does the man drink? The psychology of his consciousness is arranged in such a way that if the solution to a problem is not found by itself, then it must be urgently dulled, drowned, “washed down” with something. When the troubles and worries that have piled on a man like a snowball and do not find a quick solution to the situation, it is easier for him to cope with it by means of a few glasses of strong alcohol.
  • He is emotionally unstable, and the inner experiences tearing him apart require a splash out. From childhood, the representatives of the stronger half are dictated by the conditions of behavior: men do not cry, men do not hysteria, men do not tend to be emotional. But the accumulated experiences do not disappear, and stress resistance is exposed to constant attacks from external influences and life's troubles.

Addiction to a state of altered consciousness

But there are those who just like the state of alcoholic intoxication. They don't think it's alcoholism. They do not believe that this addiction should be eliminated. Why do men drink? Because they like it. I like that the mood rises. I like that all the problems that so oppress them to sober are forgotten at once. I like to experience euphoria from a state of altered consciousness. This stage of alcoholism is one of the most terrible, since a person does not understand that such alcohol abuse is a vice. In such a situation, men are not able to adequately assess their dependence on the poisonous green snake, continuing to revel in their favorite potion.

Men's tradition

Some of the men prefer to drink simply because this is how modern society works: watching a football match on TV must be accompanied by several glasses of cold fresh beer, Friday evening cannot be spent in a pub with friends over a couple of glasses of whiskey, and the weekend is simply meant in order to rest and drink. Why do men drink? Because this is a stereotype of modernity, so to speak, "a man is not a man if he does not prefer intoxicating." And this is actually already scary: today a young man who does not use is not called normal, as it should be, but, on the contrary, is considered some inadequate, an outcast, a representative of almost another world. Like, how do you live if you don't drink? Are you iron or what?

A way to relax and relieve stress

If a man drinks in a family, why is this happening? After all, he has a wife, he has beloved children, this is the most important thing for a good family man. That's exactly what is for "good". Statistics show that every day the percentage of the population drinking is increasing, and it is mainly men who are married and have children. But why is this happening? Often, men justify themselves with the following reasons for their drunken behavior:

  • alcohol as a means of getting rid of stress: quarrels at home with his wife and troubles at work, young people are used to drinking, and not solving the problem in a normal way;
  • alcohol as an opportunity to relax: hard work and various kinds of overwork are more easily tolerated by men when they touch the bottle;
  • drinking with friends is like a way of life, when it becomes a habit: work a shift, go to a pub on the way home and “take a shower” with “colleagues in the entertainment process”.

A remedy for depression

Why do men drink when they feel bad? The answer is simple: this is how they cope with their experiences, suffering, undivided feelings. If this is not alcohol, then other psychotropic and narcotic substances come to the rescue, and here you still need to think what is worse. But in this case, the proverb “choose the best out of two evils” does not fit. After washing down your troubles is absolutely not a way out. There are often cases when a quite decent, hard-working, adequate man began to drink. Why? In view of what is such a plan of personal degradation? There is a list of the most common reasons for this:

  • parting with a beloved woman;
  • depressed state due to the loss of financial independence and stability;
  • physical incapacity due to an accident, disaster, injury and, as a result, loss of ability to work;
  • loss of a loved one due to his death.

In the event of a binge of a young man due to psychological trauma, only attention, care and help from loved ones can affect his recovery.

Symptoms of male alcoholism

Despite drunkenness, it is not always easy for a man to be convicted of alcoholism. Many women take their husband's occasional drinks just like he does - as a way to relax after a hard day. But everyone should understand that this is not just the “first bell”, it’s downright a ringing bell that it is necessary to stop such a plan of “rest” and “withdrawal of the soul”, because sooner or later this will surely grow into even more frequent and prolonged processes of intoxication. How to recognize an alcoholic in a husband?

  • The regularity of acts of taking alcohol exceeds two to three times a month.
  • A young man needs less and less a reason to take forbidden drink to his soul - he drinks both on holidays and on weekdays.
  • The guy pays less and less attention to his appearance and becomes more sloppy: he can go to work unshaven, in yesterday's dirty shirt, with a fetid smell of "fume" in his mouth.
  • A man begins to abuse, even despite the working day, working hours and his "drunk" state at work.
  • The next morning, instead of gagging reflexes in the process of withdrawal symptoms, the young man gladly knocks over 0.5 beer as a "drunk".

And yet, why do men drink alcohol? Psychology explains the behavioral model of a young person of this kind as a vital necessity, which has developed in his mind as a stereotype. People are used to living this way, they are used to experiencing their bitterness and their joys this way. They drink on holidays and in misfortune, because of the birth of a son and on the occasion of the death of a father, with or without reason. Here not only physical dependence is born, but also psychological. And its significance actually has a global scale. The worst thing is that most alcoholics do not even admit the fact of their alcoholism, because they do not really consider themselves as such.

Treatment and help from relatives

To eliminate such a vice, malicious habit, pernicious gluttony can only be a complex of medical measures in conjunction with the invaluable support of relatives and friends of a man who drinks:

  • this is treatment in a stationary dispensary-sobering-up center;
  • it is also a psychological encoding-lock;
  • it is also the regular help of the surrounding concentration of the young man in the person of his wife, children, and parents.

Why do men love alcohol?

Alcohol abuse is not good, and alcohol, in large quantities, damages the body - no one will argue, even the one who regularly puts on the collar. However, some people are very fond of drinking. Especially men, especially Russian men. At the same time, their women suffer and become nervous. But we are not talking about alcoholics, who can only be helped by treatment, most often forced.

Most men in Russia drink only “on holidays”. Drinking on a holiday is a tradition. There is a joke with a beard in which the future groom tells his chosen one that he drinks only on holidays and after the bath. As a result, the newly-made wife learned about the existence of hundreds of new holidays, from Glazier's Day to National Hot Dog Day in the United States. When the husband did not find any significant date in the calendar, then with a broom under his arm he went to the bathhouse.

Perhaps this anecdote exaggerates the reality, but most women can confirm: In order to "ostogram", the husband needs the slightest excuse. Why do men have such a craving for alcohol? The first and main reason is the so-called "pleasure hormone", dopamine. In the human body, it performs many useful functions, but most importantly: this hormone causes a state of euphoria or happiness. Dopamine is also called the "hormone of motivation". During the consumption of alcoholic beverages, the human brain intensively produces this hormone. At the same time, a man's body produces 2 times more dopamine than a woman's, with the same alcohol consumption. Simply put, a man will initially enjoy a glass of wine more than a woman. The trouble is, the more often a man drinks, the less dopamine his brain produces. Therefore, a man increases the dose every time, which can ultimately lead to chronic alcoholism. Also, this insidious hormone is intensively produced by the brain, for example, during sex or after taking drugs. According to the Bible, Noah was the first person to experience the effects of dopamine. After the Flood, he planted a vineyard, squeezed grape juice out of it, and, probably not knowing anything about fermentation, drank wine and fell asleep.

Thus, a man's craving for alcohol is a craving for pleasure, pleasure. Such is the paradox: after drinking a glass of bitter vodka, a man gets pleasure. Therefore, those men who do not receive or receive less pleasure from life love frequent holidays.

For example, a man lacks female affection. For this reason, hardened bachelors often get drunk. Although married men love to "sentence the bottle" with or without reason. At the same time, they justify themselves with the saying: If a man drinks, you should look around and look for a megger who nags him.

Guys love to "sit well" after a grueling work week or a hard day at work. It happens that drinking is a way to get away from financial, household or family problems. I drank in the garage with the guys on the hood of the car and it's good: life is getting better, dopamine is doing its job.

It is well known that alcohol helps to liberate both men and women. After "taking on the chest" most of us feel more confident, more successful, more beautiful. The hormone of motivation causes us Napoleonic feelings: I am knee-deep in the sea.

It happens that a man drinks just out of boredom. He is not interested in his work, his gray life, he is tired of his grumpy wife. Alcohol creates the illusion that everything is not so dull and there is a place for celebration in life.

One gets the impression that drinkers are simply victims of circumstance. It's all the fault of the surrounding reality and the people who are nearby. Lack of money, grumpy wife, boss - tyrant: what is not a reason to "hit the liver". Alcohol, even if not for long, but makes all the problems in life solvable or insignificant.

In fact, avoiding reality through alcohol is the lot of weak people. Problems, troubles, fatigue accompany the life of every person. But not every person hides from circumstances behind a bottle of alcohol. A person is able to change his lifestyle.

But a weak person needs help. It is not easy, but why, for example, a wife should doomedly watch her husband with small steps, holiday after holiday, move towards the abyss (chronic alcoholism). You need to keep in mind:

If a man cannot stop in time during libations at the festive table,

If in the morning he demands to get drunk. Even if a man drank too much the day before, in the morning his body should reject both alcohol and food,

If his social circle consists only of people with whom he can drink,

then this is either already alcoholism, or there is only one step left before it!

Before it's too late, a woman needs to help a man (if she loves him) to overcome the problems and weaknesses that he is trying to cope with with alcohol.

The screams of scandals in men cause a backlash: they drink even more. Therefore, you need to talk to your husband. Delve into his problems, listen to him. Sometimes it is enough for a person to speak out to relieve tension or stress.

Show him by your behavior, words, that he must and can succeed.

Perhaps the problem is that your husband does not perceive you as a woman, you are him as a man and you need to change and attract attention to yourself. Just do not make him jealous, this will only aggravate the situation.

After visiting a visit, thank your husband if he did not drink or did not allow himself too much.

Never reproach your husband for earning little. It hurts male pride. As a result, he will drink the little money that he receives.

Content of the article:

Drunkenness is a disaster for any happy family. The drinker's relatives and himself suffer from this. Therefore, fighting drunkenness means fighting not so much for a person as for. And the whole brunt of the struggle usually falls on the woman. To make it more effective, you need to understand why do men eat and how alcohol addiction begins... Let's turn to the psychological and biological aspects of the problem.

The psychological aspect of male alcoholism

The use of alcohol first forms a psychological dependence, and then develops into a physical one. Therefore, it is important to understand the reason why men start drinking. Psychology identifies a lot of reasons, but none of them can be considered an excuse... So, the most common reasons for a man to drink alcohol are:

  • Indulging your own weakness... The man begins to drink, as he perceives the use of alcohol after a hard work as a relaxing procedure or even praise.
  • Avoiding problems... The present state of affairs in the family, at work or in any other area of \u200b\u200blife seems unbearable to him,
    and thus he forces himself to forget about the problem.
  • Lack of understanding... The cause of drunkenness can also be from the wife, lack of affection, lack of recognition of merits, merits, humiliation.
  • Low self-esteem... A man wants to feel relaxed, attractive and confident. Drinking alcohol makes him feel more socially active.
  • Family pressure... Perhaps this is the only way for a man to escape pressure from his wife, mother-in-law, mother or other family members. Mistrust, nit-picking, excessive demanding, jealousy ultimately undermine a man's self-respect.
  • For company... Among the society in which a man revolves, frequent alcohol consumption is the norm.
  • Overcoming a mental crisis... A young man can start drinking in order to muffle mental pain (impotence, betrayal, etc.).

It is known that men, to whom the society makes high demands, forcing them to be strong, decisive and successful, are terrified of not meeting these criteria... For the subconscious of a man, this is a signal of lack of demand, impossibility of domination, and, therefore, absolute inconsistency as a representative of his species. A man trapped in the iron grip of society, unable to realize himself in a social, career or any other way, experiences much more acute suffering than a woman who finds herself in his place. AND alcohol helps a man to forget about this insolvency.

Think about which of the listed problems made your man or husband start drinking? Perhaps he has.

Alcohol use statistics

The biological aspect of male alcoholism

The main difference between male and female alcoholism lies in the difference in the work of the nervous system... The male organism evolved in such a way that the psyche of a young person has less stamina, much adapts worse to changing external conditions of the environment, harder to bear stress... Here, a popular remedy comes to the rescue - alcohol, which, once in the body, creates an imaginary feeling of relaxation and joy, which is actually oxygen starvation of the brain cells. It turns out that a part of the brain is forcibly disconnected from the perception of often "unpleasant" information from the outside. Sleep while intoxicated physiologically is not just a dream, but a fainting spell caused by chemical disorders in the brain.

Is drinking beer harmful?

Many men do not believe that drinking beer every day is alcohol abuse. It is just a pleasant drink, and in the evening it helps them to relax, promotes good communication in the company. Why men drink beer every weekend, men themselves justify tradition.

The opinion of doctors in this matter is unambiguous. They claim that beer is not at all a harmless drink, but alcohol, since it contains alcohol. If your man assures you that he does not know why men drink alcohol, but he is in spirit to drink a bottle of beer, then remind him that he is at great risk to his health.

If a man drinks every day

Getting used to get rid of all negative emotions with the help of alcohol (an effective and simple way), a person does not know any other solution to problems. He acts as if on a trodden path, constantly resorting to his tried and tested remedy. After all, it relieves mental anguish and suffering. At the same time, the problems themselves have not been solved in any way and have not gone anywhere (and more often, against the background of drunkenness, they are more aggravated).

Reaching intoxication, the drinker creates his own reality and can go into it, for a while leaving all the troubles and worries and troubles, running away from reality and freeing himself from the burden. But the reality that gives freedom from the burden is like a kind of mirage. She beckons, but does not save in any way, disappears as she becomes sober. A person, returning to reality, again faces problems. The circle is closed again.

What do psychologists advise in the question "why does a man drink a lot?" If you have identified a problem that makes your husband drink, you should not immediately strive, try to solve it together or contact a psychologist. The main thing is to eliminate the reason, since it makes a person escape from difficulties with the help of alcohol. If the reason a man drinks every day is because of an unhealthy family climate and bad relationships, a woman needs to think about how to change her behavior. It is important to understand that the family is a closed system, a change in one element will lead to a change in the entire system as a whole. If the reason why men often drink is a personal crisis, then nothing can be changed without serious work of the drinkers themselves.

How the family suffers

Of course, in the process of living with such a person, loved ones can get sick with neurosis. But it is also important to know something else. We ourselves choose a partner, subconsciously we look for him among many applicants, and our heart responded to him. And we get exactly what we are ready for now. Therefore, the problem of why a man in a family drinks can be solved by joint efforts.

Of course, addiction may not appear immediately, but after many years, but only now the signs of his possible illness can be distinguished already at the stage of acquaintance. Pay attention to how the person speaks about alcohol and the people who abuse it. Does he like to talk at the table on this topic and does he know the measure in this matter. And, of course, believe in your man, and he will definitely cope with his vice.

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Orthodox calendar

Saturday, 3 August 2019(July 21 old style)
7th week after Pentecost
Prophet Ezekiel (VI BC)
Prpp. Simeon, Christ for the sake of the holy fool, and John, his companion (c. 590)
Memorial Day of Saints:
Finding the relics of the Blgv. Princess Anna Kashinskaya (1649). Prpp. Onuphrius the silent and Onesimus the recluse, Pechersky (XII-XIII).
Memorial Day for Confessors and New Martyrs of the Russian Church:
Schmch. Peter Golubev Presbyter (1938). Finding of the relics of St. Roman Medved, presbyter (1999).
No rejection is made.
Readings of the day
Gospel and Apostle:
On lit .: - Ap .:Rom. 12: 1-3 Ev .:Matthew 10: 37-11: 1
Psalter:
In the morning: -Ps. 109-111 Psalm 118 For the evening.: -Ps. 1-8