Cooperative learning. Joint education

We will talk about the education of boys and girls, try to comprehensively highlight this difficult topic and answer the question whether this education should be joint or separate. In fact, we have long been thinking about how to bring up a real person, trying to work with groups of children. At the very beginning of this work, I asked to look for the results of research on the topic of differences in the development and upbringing of boys and girls, and to my great surprise, there was simply no such research.

- Yes, indeed, there are almost none. I looked through everything I could find. There is nothing at all about separation education, its advantages or disadvantages. And there are very few examples of such upbringing, because basically children are everywhere together. There are studies on the personal development of girls and boys, but only individually, never studied a group of boys and girls. It seems to me that there is no understanding why, in fact, separate education is necessary.

- Why do we need a joint?

- Because it corresponds to the idea of ​​equality.

- Yes, but even if we are all together, there are still differences between men and women: in the choice of professions, in different inclinations, aspirations, and so on. In so many areas, the male and female approaches are very different.

- But today they are even trying to hide it, for example, at work ...

- Because there is an interest in this, and not because there are no differences.

- It seems to me that there were some studies about differences in the brains of men and women, but the results were somehow quickly hidden.

- Even in the period of my studies, I heard about studies of the development of the brain of men and women and the mathematical abilities of two sexes. It was found that from the age of 12, boys show better results in mathematics. They tried to explain this by the difference in the methods of upbringing and education, the attitude on the part of the society, which more encourages the boys to study, but very quickly they all became silent about it. It seems to me that scientists are simply afraid ...

- They are afraid to look into the depths and reveal the reasons. This shows all the frivolity of our approach to the issue. It would seem that adults who understand life should understand both the difference between a man and a woman, and the different purpose of each of the sexes in general and in the upbringing of children in particular. But instead they start hiding something.

- Maybe they do not quite understand, and therefore they play.

- The point is not that they do not understand, but that they do not want to understand. The peculiarity of the method of integral education lies precisely in the fact that it seeks to fully reveal all the differences, and then combine these revealed opposite properties. After all, it is precisely in such a combination of opposites that the harmony of nature is born, and it is precisely this that is optimal for each of the properties, since in nature, in general, everything ultimately boils down to one single property. If we consider men and women separately, then, of course, everyone has their own preferences and peculiarities, but if from the very beginning our goal is to reveal the differences in order to best combine them, then this opposite will not cause us fear .

“We know from history that in previous generations, even in the families of our grandfathers and great-grandfathers, there were very few literacy women. Their education and upbringing was significantly different.

- Yes, it has been for thousands of years, and is the result of such development of egoism, which puts a man above a woman. But if we want to take the path of correction, then it is absolutely clear that there can be no other approach than mutual addition. In such a mutual connection, everyone must bring something special that is only in it.

- That is, in any case, the union and mutual addition is the main task. What does this association mean?

- This is such a mutual complement, when through a man a woman and a woman through a man can achieve unity in society and experience the perfection of being.

- Let's explain in stages.

- We in our education should lead a person to such a state when he realizes his high mission in this world, realizes that he can go beyond animal life, rise to the level of integral unity with all of nature and feel another part of reality hidden from us. A person should know that it is this ascent that will give him a feeling of full and eternal life. All this can be achieved in this world, if we properly use the means that are given to us. And the main place where a person can make his efforts is precisely in the relationship between a man and a woman. Just as in this life, through the connection between a man and a woman, a new generation is born, so the spiritual union of a man and a woman gives rise to a new, higher level of the sensation of harmony, on which they rise together.

- How to bring up a man in a boy who understands his male destiny, and a girl - a woman? I would like to first ask one more question. Should men and women come to the same goal?

- Yes, but together, in unity with each other.

- Is their highest goal one, and is it achieved through unification in our material world?

- Yes, only together.

- But today in society there are different views on gender relations. For example, there are women who do not want to get married and even decide to have a child without a husband.

- They can be understood.

- They do not feel the need for a man in their lives. And you say that it is absolutely necessary for a man and a woman to join together.

- To achieve spirituality it is necessary. Nature will not allow us to develop without it. We will suffer a lot because of our inconsistency with nature precisely in family life, that is, where a new spiritual level should be born.

- That is, a person is still obliged to start a family.

- Yes, but the family in its corrected form. There are masculine and feminine images, opposing forces, which, despite their opposite and thanks to it, are joined together, and the result of this connection is the birth of a new stage of our existence.

- I would still like to talk about the educational aspect of this topic. Can we say that the wrong approach to the education of girls and boys just leads to such negative phenomena in society as numerous divorces?

- Even if we exclude all improper upbringing, all the same we would have come to a state like this. It is due to our nature - pride, the desire to rule over the other, especially over the other sex. And the feeling of his dependence on him further drives, strengthens the desire to free oneself and feel power. All this is the result of our growing egoism. Therefore, proper education should start from a very young age. We must instill in children, especially boys, an understanding that a woman takes a very important place in life. But you need to understand that it is important not only to continue the race. It is clear that without women, humanity will simply die out. But a woman is not an incubator for carrying a new generation. In our today's life, built for the convenience of selfishness, a man really does not need a woman. In the supermarket, he can buy ready-made lunch, home appliances will do all the housework. Today, a man can even afford to be a father and not live with his children, it happens all the time. And it turns out that he spends most of the day at work, and the rest of the time he continues to play the games of this world, remaining a child for the rest of his life. He even childishly remains more attached to his mother than to his wife. And all this is the result of improper upbringing.

- But if we say that in the upbringing it is very important that one gender understands the meaning of the other, then why do you support separate education?

- That is why.

- What is its advantage?

- We need to understand one pattern: the more we isolate opposites and study them, the easier it is for us to understand how best we can connect them and what we acquire through the connection. It is said: “The advantage of light is from darkness,” that is, we must put opposites one against the other, understand what their opposition consists of and why they are created like this. There is always something in one form that is not in the other, and the other has what is completely absent from the first, and therefore none of them can ultimately succeed in anything unless it complements its properties with the properties of the second, opposite to itself form. We still have to explain it to people. All the diseases of modern society - depression, drugs, mental illness - are mainly due to the fact that men do not receive the necessary supplements from women. A man needs support, approval, help, and a sense of home and family. Instead, he remains dependent on his mother until the end of his days.

- Do you mean biological mother?

- It does not matter, mother or wife. He is dependent on the woman who is next to him. He is not so much attached to the Father, namely to the mother and woman. From a woman he receives a need, a desire, transfers it to her and receives from her. A man exists between two women - mother and wife, and even the third - mother-in-law. Thanks to this position, he can connect opposites, and only in this way can he exist and develop spiritually - between two female forces. From here it becomes clear how much a man in our world needs support from a woman.

- I don’t understand how a separate upbringing can contribute to the understanding of such a high interaction that you have just described?

- We have built for ourselves an artificial world with all sorts of amenities and toys for adults and artificially exist in it. Living in such a world, we have accumulated for many years, cultivated in us a tremendous inner desire for something high — such a deep feeling of something missing. Today it manifests itself in a large number of depressions, in care for drugs, in outbreaks of aggression, in suicides and other phenomena. modern world. We must understand the root of all this. And the root is that a person feels like a little gear in a huge mechanism, as Charlie Chaplin also showed in his films.

- Small and lonely gear, that is, the feeling of loneliness here is very important.

- Being in such a state, neither a man nor a woman can understand the importance of the right relationship and the high purpose of their connection. We are not brought up in this spirit. Today, a man cannot be with one woman, live in the same family, with his children, although by nature he was created that way.

- Is man made like that?

- Man is not created neither for loneliness, nor for a constant change of partners and family.

- In the past, the reasoning of biologists that a man by nature laid down the desire to maximize the spread of the seed was popular, and this is the basis of its polygamy. Hence all the fashionable theories that justify the behavior of modern men.

- This is true, but does not mean that a man does not need a house. He has the strongest instinct to have his woman, his home and family.

- In addition.

- It is interesting that today there is a lot of research on the growing loneliness among women and depressions associated with this. Is it possible to say that the same thing happens with men?

- In women, this is more evident because the destination of a woman is family and children. By nature, she wants to be close to a man, and this desire is manifested in her much stronger. The woman still needs more family. A man remains a child, even as an adult. He childishly continues to play, and in the game he forgets about everything else. In a woman, from the very young age, the desire for family and home begins to manifest itself. Despite the fact that today society helps a woman and sets her up for independence, independence from a man, nature cannot be fooled, and the inner female desire to be close to a man and create a family is in no way interchangeable. Therefore, women are much more depressed, despite all the opportunities for entertainment and a variety of activities that society today provides. Ultimately, this is all just to somehow fill the feeling of emptiness caused by the absence of a family.

- So you think that both sexes today feel an inner emptiness, and that is exactly what we should aim at bringing up?

- In the near future we will be obliged to solve this problem.

- Solve it with the help of education.

- Yes. This can be done today, for example, through television. We need educational programs aimed mainly at children from early agein which we would explain to children, and even adults, that the right relationship is the complement of each other.

- But still, why is it necessary to separate education in order to come, ultimately, to complement each other? What should be upbringing to avoid the feeling of loneliness that many have today?

- Since today education is asexual, and in general it is not education, but only education, it turns out that a man has no responsibility, he changes women and does not feel the need for a constant companion of life.

- In the same way that his teachers change in the classroom.

- Maybe you are right. He does not feel the difference between different women. And such an underestimation and neglect of a woman are born precisely from the joint presence of boys and girls in school. If they were divided, they would appreciate the opposite sex more, they would be drawn to it, they would feel its peculiarity and difference from itself. And now it's somehow familiar ...

- That is, as would be taken for granted and uninteresting?

- The level of interest depends on education, but the very presence together erases the feature of the opposite sex ...

- It is believed that with co-education, children can better learn, understand each other. For example, I heard five-grade girls talking about boys in their class, spoke very negatively about them, but, nevertheless, were keen on discussing how boys behave, how they look, what they say, what reaction they cause and etc. It is believed that this gives them the opportunity to study each other.

- Well, what do they get out of it? What is the use of such a study, if later they cannot build a family, if a man at the age of 30 does not cease to change women, does not want to build a family, because he does not understand why. What is the use of such studying each other? And if you begin to ask such a man, then make sure that he has absolutely no understanding of the woman.

- So you think that we are not striving for real study and understanding.

- Of course not. And women do not understand men. In order to truly understand the other gender, there must be educational work. This is not very easy. Here we need an approach of a psychologist, a view of the world of men and women from the outside, an understanding of what their natural opposition is. We teach something, but we don’t give the right approach and do not explain that the final goal is complementing each other.



Cooperative learning

In the majority of boarding schools there are certain ways to separate boys and girls, especially with regard to sleeping facilities. Love relationships are not encouraged. They are not encouraged in Summerhill, however, and are not prohibited.

In Summerhill, both girls and boys are left alone. And the relationship between the sexes is very healthy. No one here grows up with illusions or delusions regarding the other sex. And the point is not that Summerhill is like one big family, where cute little boys and girls alone and all of them are brothers and sisters. If this were so, I would immediately become a fierce opponent of collaborative learning.

With genuine co-education, and not one in which boys and girls only sit together at their desks in the classroom, but live and sleep in different buildings, their unhealthy curiosity towards each other almost disappears. In Summerhill, no one peeps through the keyhole. There is much less concern about sex than in other schools.

But from time to time we always have an adult who asks: “And what, don't they all sleep with each other?” And when I say no, they don't sleep, he (she) exclaims: “But why ? At their age, I would have damn well spent time! ”

People of this type believe that if boys and girls study together, they must indulge in sexual liberties. It must be said, people of this kind of warehouse will never admit that it is this thought that underlies their objections to joint training. They prefer to argue that boys and girls should not be trained together, as they differ in learning abilities.

School education should be joint, because life is joint. However, many parents and teachers are afraid of co-education, because they are afraid of pregnancies. I even heard about the directors of joint schools, who cannot fall asleep at night for fear that this could happen.

Children of both sexes, growing up separately, are often unable to love. This may please those who are afraid of sex, but for the youth as a whole, the inability to love is a huge human tragedy.

When I asked several teenagers from a famous private co-educational school if they had any love relationships at school, the answer was no. I expressed my surprise and in response I heard: “Sometimes it happens with us that the boy is friends with a girl, but there are no love relationships.” Since I have already noticed several beautiful boys and pretty girls on the school’s grounds, I realized that the school imposes the ideal of anti-love on its students, and its highly moral atmosphere precludes sex.

Once I asked the director of a progressive school: “Do you have love relationships at school?” - “No,” he answered with importance, “we don’t take difficult children.”

Opponents of coeducation may argue that it makes boys effeminate, and girls masculine. For all sorts of arguments of this kind are supposedly moral considerations, but in fact - envious fears. Sex filled with love is the greatest pleasure in the world, and that is why they are trying to suppress it. Everything else is an excuse.

The reason that I am not afraid that the older students of Summerhill, who have lived here since early childhood, will have a love affair is simple - I know that I am not dealing with children whose interest in sex has been suppressed and, therefore, has become unnatural.

A few years ago, almost two students came to us almost simultaneously: a young man of 17 years old from a private male school and a girl of 16 years old from a private female school. They fell in love with each other and were always together. One day, meeting them late at night, I stopped them. “I don’t know what you are doing together,” I said, “and in terms of morality, this doesn’t bother me at all, since it has nothing to do with morality at all. But economically it bothers me. If you, Kate, have a child, my school will be ravaged. You see, both of you just arrived in Summerhill. For you, this means the freedom to do what you want. And naturally, you have no special feelings towards the school. If you lived here for 7 years, I would not have thought to discuss this issue. You would then be so attached to school that you would think about the consequences of your actions for Summerhill yourself. ” It was the only possible way to try to solve the problem. And fortunately, we never again had to return to this topic with them.

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